16 and Pregnant: Allie

Wow, what an intense finale for this season of 16 and Pregnant! This year we’ve met all kinds of girls from all over the county and learned about the different struggles they’ve gone through as pregnant teenagers. But this season finale, featuring Allie, was especially heartbreaking.

Allie has had a tough couple of years. First, during her sophomore year she was forced to leave her mother in New Jersey and move to Texas with her father for financial reasons. She made a few friends, but mostly spent her time with her new boyfriend Joey. After finding out she was pregnant and deciding to keep her baby, Allie’s father kicked her out of the house meaning that Allie was forced to choose between moving back to New Jersey (and leaving the father of her baby) or moving in with Joey’s family…which included his drug-addicted mother. Can you imagine having to make such life-altering choices as a teenager? You have to decide where you want to raise your family and who is safe for you and your child to be around. Allie had to choose between raising her baby without a father or raising her baby in an unstable and potentially harmful environment.

With both Joey and Allie growing up in such unstable households, do you think they were prepared to be parents?

Allie tried the best she could to make it work with Joey and his family, but his mother made it very difficult for her to feel comfortable. In one scary scene, she screamed at Allie, telling her that her parents abandoned her and that nobody loves her or wants her around. She even lunged at Allie, saying she’ll attack her even if she’s pregnant! After that incident, Joey and Allie are taken in by Joey’s grandmother. Eventually Joey’s mother decides to go to rehab, and the family reconnects in time for the birth of baby Aydenn.

Even though Joey tried to be prepared for fatherhood, like many of the dads on 16 and Pregnant, he quickly fell behind on his duties. Frustrated, Allie started to consider moving back to New Jersey to give her and the baby a better chance; a visit from Allie’s mother only seemed to push her further in that direction. By the time Aydenn is two months old, Allie and Joey’s relationship has completely fallen apart. Becoming a parent (at any age) is really hard and it doesn’t leave much time or energy for anything else.  Even if you’re in a solid relationship and have a lot of built-in support, it can be nearly impossible to focus on anything other than trying to take care of a baby. So when a relationship is fragile or new, it’s unlikely it can survive the intense responsibility of parenthood. 

How would having a baby change your relationship? Would you and your boyfriend/girlfriend be able to make it?

 In the end, Allie decided that the best thing to do was to break up with Joey, finish high school in Texas, and then move back to New Jersey. One great thing about Allie is how seriously she took her schoolwork; even when it got hard, she was determined to graduate. It takes a lot of work to be a parent in high school—only about half of teen moms get a high school diploma and becoming a parent is the leading cause of high school dropout among teen girls.

In her closing, Allie talked about what’s best for her baby: a stable home—even if it means raising Aydenn by herself, without Joey in the picture. Babies born to teens are much more likely to grow apart from their fathers than kids born to even slightly older parents. Think about how you want to raise your children one day. Won’t you want to have a stable home AND a stable partner? Pregnancy is 100% preventable—protect yourself so you can stay teen!


This post was written by Kate, an intern for The National Campaign. Kate is a senior at George Washington University, studying journalism and sociology. She loves theater and cooking, and eats mashed potatoes every single day.

 


 

WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:

ON APRIL 7, 2012 AT 5:16 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Honestly I thought Allie's decision was ungrateful and a little selfish. Joey was only fifteen years old very young to be a father and adjust to a parenting role especially since he was a MALE and she was the FEMALE with female hormones to help her adjust to parenting easier and more naturally. Throughout her pregnancy I think he really protected and respected and took care of her (not many guys do that) even defending her over his mother. Also his grandmother was extremely generous to her by allowing Allie to live with her during her pregnancy and after her pregnancy (probably providing things for the baby aswell). Joey and his family did a whole lot for her and in the end she just walked out because Joey wasn't helping her to go be with her mommy. I could tell he was extremely hurt and it broke my heart to see him cry like that. He even said himself that she was ungrateful. It's great she got her education and finished highschool but her decision even affects her child aswell. Think about it what is she going to say when the child asks about his dad, that he never helped me change your diapers and feed you and it angered me so I left before you were even two months, then I went back to go live with my mom and forgot that he even existed.

ON JANUARY 15, 2012 AT 8:20 PM, KRISTINA SAID:

i think she didnt do the right choice! I Feel Bad For Joey!

ON DECEMBER 3, 2011 AT 5:38 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Disfunctional families I think lie at the root of all teen pregnancies. I am a teen mom, who first got pregnant when I was nineteen. I was young and nieve with no parental guidence or support. I currently have three children, all non planned pregnancies. You would think that I would have learned my lesson with the first one, but without complete abstinance 100% is not an option. Twice I thought I was covered with the pill. Having my children at such a young age, made me grow up very quickly, but the boys in the show the father of my first two children was a pos. I left him when I figured out staying was not the best option. I think I always wanted to have the "good" family relationship that I did not have. I had lost a whole side of my family by the time I was 13. My mother changed husbands/ boyfriends every couple of years, and her choices were also not the wisest and the boyfriend was always her main concern. Not her children. I am now a mother and my children are my number one priority and I am also a champion to prevent teen pregnancy as I do not want my children to end up like me. I am twenty nine now, and just now starting college and getting a degree, I can't wait for that day that I graduate and wish it could have been much sooner in my life, and that I had made the correct choices in my life where school was first and getting married and having children came later. `remember girls, that what you do today will effect you the rest of your life, it is not just pregnancy that can result from sex but also HIV, and other STD's that may never go away. Is that really how you want to live your life or do you want so much more? Teens really take a hard look at what is inside and see where they want to be when they get older? Is college in your future? It should be!

ON JULY 13, 2011 AT 5:22 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

OK the girls who think she made the wrong choice are crazy. She made the right choice!!! He wasn't helping AT ALL. So what if hes in love with her, that doesn't mean she is in love with him. She asked him multipule times to help out more and he didn't do s---. I have a daughter and my boyfriend NEVER helped me and it ruined our relationship. Each time I would ask him to help he would just b---- at me about how I don't do anything all day. Ummm I take care of a baby and a house all day! Being a Mom is HARD and we need help and breaks too.

We don't know the whole situation. Why stay with someone you don't love? If you don't love someone, but stay with them because they love you...you will be sooooo incrediably unhappy and that is not good for their child.

You may think she was ungrateful, but really she was most likely just hurt.

She made the right desicion for her and her baby.

OH and to the person who was giving s--- about Allisons Mom...Yes family is more important then a job, BUT if she went to the birth she could have gotten fired and then not been able to support Ally and send her money to help with the baby. Think about that maybe.

ON JULY 10, 2011 AT 10:18 PM, SHANNIELLIA SAID:

i lov e watching 16 and pregnant and Allie's episode made me cry and its my overall favourate........................i didnt want her to leave joey but then again she made the right choice

ON JULY 6, 2011 AT 12:11 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i say allie made the right decison leaving joey he didnt help treally and she talked to him a couple times bout helping out more. but i was proud when joey stuck up for allie it kinda seemed at the end she was ungreatful for everything his family did for her though and i do think this show teaches us about how difficult it is to raise kids as teen moms cuz i was having unprotected sex until this show and i saw the first season and im lke wow im not reaADY FOR A kid in the end allie made the right chioice

ON JUNE 30, 2011 AT 12:55 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i also think that allie made the wrong desicion he loved her and turned his back on his own mom to give her what she need she should off gave hm at least a chance cause she just walked away

ON JUNE 29, 2011 AT 10:25 AM, FANTA SAID:

I think allie made de wrong choice by breakin up wit joey. joel really love her but idk what she thinkin on,i know she thinkin on joel mom but if he loves !!! u nothin can change it!:)

ON JUNE 29, 2011 AT 3:04 AM, ONEELOVEE SAID:

I wish Allie had a facebook id love to talk to her im in the same situation

ON JUNE 27, 2011 AT 2:32 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

don't get pregnant.thats all i hve 2 say!

ON JUNE 27, 2011 AT 12:52 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i really like Alli, it was a sad episode and i am glad she left Joey i hope she has finished high school and i think she should move back to NJ with her mother and go to college! joey should finish high school and also go to college, and make something of himself, after they are both grown and able to take care of themselves can they start thinking about salvaging any lost relationships. Teenagers who get pregnant are sad and it hurts me so much because you throw your life away even if its an accident, sex was meant to make babies, it is sacred and should be kept for marriage that way you have no dysfunctional families. I feel the cause of the pregnancy and all the drama was the fact that both joey and alli came from dysfunctional families, and i know sometimes separation/ divorce happens but that does not mean that you can throw responsibility out of the window. Wholesome teens who are brought up right don't need sex, even though at times peer pressure and other factors might influence it. The parents were both sad, though i admire joey's grandmother, she seemed wise, which goes to show that maturity and wisdom comes with age and experience, we learn from our mistakes, which is why teens who think they can be grown and have sex is wrong, what is two minutes of pleasure vs a lifetime of regrets? It just saddens me so to see teens make such mistakes, i know that not everyone looks at it that way, but i do, and i am glad for this program, because it assures me that i would never have sex before i am married and my parents approve, i wouldn't want all the problems and heartache. Alli WAS alone in her pregnancy, i was shocked that joey did not support her much when she was in labor, but then again, I'd bet he was scared, i hurt that she was alone, but she was mature for her age, and she handled it well.

ON JUNE 25, 2011 AT 1:39 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I'm in the minority when I say that I think Allie made the right decision by breaking up with Joey. During the scene where Joey's mom verbally (and almost physically) attacked Allie, I did feel it could have been prevented had Allie not paid mind to Joey's mom after tossing the banana (albeit, she did eventually turn her back, which is good). Both Joey and Allie seem to come from 'confusing' households, Joey more-so but I do feel Allie was/is more emotionally and mentally mature. She prepared herself for the arrival of Aydenn and continued to focus on her studies; good for her. It may seem selfish and irresponsible of her to have left Joey but I do believe it was in the best interest of not only herself but Aydenn as well. It's unhealthy, and possibly dangerous, to stay in a toxic environment. Had she not left, who knows what might have happened ⎯ of course there could have been a positive outcome but I do feel what she did was for the best and commend her for her decisions. She seems to have a strong head on her shoulders and I wish her and Aydenn the best of luck. I hope Joey gets to see his son throughout his life and I wish him the best of luck as well.

ON JUNE 24, 2011 AT 12:20 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I really like Alli, I was literally fighting bk anger and tear. It was so sad seeing Joey cry...I just wanted to give him a hug. I know it breaks his heart whenever Allison cries, he did all he could to protect her; but all she did was walk away. I think that really was ungrateful of her...but I guess at some point we all get fed up.

ON JUNE 23, 2011 AT 4:41 PM, "J" SAID:

I think this was a very interesting episode! Allie and Joey were both doing the best as YOUNG children as they could with being pregnant and having the child. Neither one of them seem to have very good role models in their lives, Joey' s grandmother was probably the best person. I hate to say that Joey was 15 but that's it he was 15 there was not much of his life that was giong to change. Women are generally the ones that take on all of the responsibility of raising a child! I think that MTV is great for doing this show I truely do believe that it gives girls a more true depiction of how being a mom can severly affect your life. They are showing the struggle of trying to stay in school and graduate and get jobs and maintain to the best of there ability and that it is not at all easy to do. At EVERY single comercial break they are saying all that is relavent to that episode and they always give the message that TEEN PREGNANCY is 100% preventable!!! I am a parent of a teen that loves the message that it sends!! To Christina maybe we should not be so judgemental!! We all have faults as parents, there is no hand book we all just try to do our best from how we have been taught! If you had great parents that showed you love and how to be loved that is GREAT but being so critical of others is not the way to be! I pray that Joey's mom finds direction and learns that drugs are not the way especially for the little one that was still in the home!!!!! Thanks MTV

ON JUNE 22, 2011 AT 1:56 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I think she made a wrong choice by breaking up with joey. It comes natural for a mother to change, feed and wake up in the middle of the night and not so much for a father especially since he is young. I think she is ungreatfull because joey was there for her and didin't walk away from her like most do. She is heartless by walking away because of a dumb reason. It's true nice guys do finish last maybe she wants someone who will cheat and abuse her.

ON JUNE 22, 2011 AT 12:53 PM, CHRISTINA SAID:

I watched this epsidoe last night on Allison's story. First i want to say that MTV needs to stop glorfiying young girls pregnancy.. IT IS HARD at any age not only 16. This doesnt show young women not to get pregnanat this show, shows them its okay it may be tough but you can get a spot on tv and become known!!! Well regarding this epsoide both parents of this kids were not being parents at all. They did not support their children they did not love them unconditionally!! Parents need a reality show themselves. Called "We can't parent, help us!" Those two teenagers have disfuntional families and Joey's mom needs more than rehab! She was awful and should of been booted off!!! Wake up ppl these kids need more than a reality show they need love and support and those parents need a serious a** whooped! I felt so awful watching this one others dont move you as much... as i was a teen mom and my mom was the best still is. Allison dont take the abuse and all those awful words that came from that hags mouth is her own fighting demons!!! come on Allison mom step up and be A REAL MOM not a texting buddy also that birth of your grandchild you can not get back you should of been there. FAMILY is more important than your job! Guess you forgot that!

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