Four Things I Wish My Older Sister Told Me
Although I have an older sister who I saw go through the turbulence and heartbreaks of relationships, she never actually gave me dating love and advice. And after having experienced my own share of relationship mistakes, I really wish my sister had given me some sort of advice that could have prevented the idiotic mistakes I made. Having gone through the troubles of relationships herself, I wish she would have sat me down and told me things about boys and how I should be treated in a relationship. There are many things I would have liked to be made aware of, and when the time comes, I plan on giving my younger sister a head's up on the four things I wish I would have learned from my older sister.
- Never date an older man. Although it seems like fun and like he's so mature, and he may have a car and take you places, in the end it won't work out. It's lust, not love. Besides, why is an older guy dating a young girl? That is super creepy.
- The guys you date should make you feel special. If you ever feel like he's putting you down or you feel as if he acts like he's better than you, it won't work. In a successful relationship, both of you need to be on an equal plane.
- Ask yourself if it's love. Love may be a small word, but it carries a lot of meaning. Don't just throw the word around and make sure that when you actually say it, you mean it. In addition, if he says that he loves you, that doesn't mean you now have to sleep with him. Save yourself for someone who you're really in love with and who truly loves you. And make sure you're ready for sex before you do it; being in love doesn't necessarily mean being ready for sex.
- You always have me here. Don't forget that I'm always here if you need something. I want the best for you and please don't ever be scared or embarrassed to approach me about anything.
Those are my 4 things I wish my sister had told me. What about you? What four things do you wish your older brother or sister had told you? Or, if you're the oldest, what would you tell your younger sibling?
Maritza is 18 years old and originally from Bakersfield, CA. She is a National Campaign Youth Leadership Team alum and was recently named YLT member “Most likely to steal pigs.” I think it’s best if we don’t ask any questions about that one. Maritza loves hanging out with her friends even when they aren’t “borrowing” pigs. Have a question for Maritza? Email us!
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WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:
I always thought of dating a older guy like a year older. But i change my mind!!!!!! now
I've allways wished I had an olders sister to give me advice. I have a little brother, so I guess when he gets older and interested in girls, I'll probibly tell him how we want to be treated.
im the oldest and i have already had sex. i would tell my younger sisters to wait and not fall for anyone.
I wish I had an older brother or sister. They would protected. I always wanted to feel that way and be pampered and stuff but I needed to take on the elder sibling role because i AM the older sibling and go out of my ways to make sure no stupid things happen to my sissy and bro. I love them. Really I do. But i wish someone else would take the elder sibling role. I do have close friends whom consider themselves as my bro and sis. but it's not the same...it has to be consanguineous for them to be able to protect me like how i do with my own blood and flesh
i would not be happy if that was my kid i would not know what to do i would need my mom and dads help to see what i can do for my kid and take care of her or him and buy food clothes dieepers and bottles and shoes and a bed and a room for the baby to sleep in at night and in the after noon and at in the morning to.
My sister never tells me these things. I bring up a guy and she flips. I can't tell her if I think that I'm in love or that I'm think about having sex. She just doesn't listen.
What if you're having sex with someone that you really truly love and he loves you also. But the sex is unprotected sometimes. Not because there's not a method of protection but simply because it happens. In this case, the "pull out" method is used. What happens now? I'm constantly scared of being pregnant and lately have been feeling a little sick. And everything's sensitive on me. I love him. But I've seen all of this happen before. A young pregnancy and not always does the father stay. So, what happens now? What should I do? Please help me. Thank you.
@ ANONYMOUS:
Couples who regularly have unprotected sex have an 85% chance of getting pregnant within a year...not very good odds! Even if you and your boyfriend love each other, it doesn't sound like you're ready to have a baby together -- you need to use birth control every single time you have sex. If you're concerned that you're already pregnant, you need to talk to a medical professional or a trusted adult to find out what to do. If you don't have a regular doctor, you can use our Health Center Finder to locate a clinic nearby (http://www.stayteen.org/health-centers). And you can get more info on birth control options here: http://stayteen.org/birth-control-101-methods.
Yeah I'm an older sister myself I have 4 younger sisters and when I try to talk to them they tell me I don't know what I am talking about, but in all reality I do even if they don't realize I do. I've been through a lot in the past 4 years and I wish I had someone there to talk to because its not easy talking to parents at all.
I understand where you coming from i dated a older guy it dont work out he ended up lieing,cheating and mean... and at one point i tho. i was prego by him the day i took that test and found out that i was not i was so happy that was the best day ever... dont give ur self away to the one u think u love now im with the most amazing person ever he love me 4 me and cares 4 me i would not give him up yea we have had r ups and downs but we work them out and we have not had sex.... my mom was a teenager when she had me she was 15 and ill be 16 in Nov.. so girls be careful. and think before you do something u maybe look back and think i wish i didnt do that..
its hard when you already have a kid to have your sister around and you have three younger sisters you are trying not to say the wrong thing so they dont end up like you.
Wow sounds like True knowledge is talkin here! Great Article! This is what I have been trying to say for so long. You are not a hypocrite if you are trying to tell others about your mistakes and how to avoid them as long as you no longer take part in them.
Now what I do not understand is why some programs/family actually support/uphold certain negative life impacting risky behaviors and Truly believe they are helping?
Maritza, I think it's great that you're open to this kind of discussion with your older sister. As an older sister myself, I tried to talk with my younger sister about topics that we did not feel we could discuss with our parents. When I was 21 and my sis was 16, she started dating. I tried to have this talk with her at that time:
1) Even if you aren't planning on having sex now, relationships can sometime progress really quickly.
2) I want you to be safe, no matter what decisions you make now... or later.
3) I can help you get condoms or other birth control. I'll even take you to Planned Parenthood, if you want.
4) If you're not ready to have this discussion with me now, you can change your mind at any time. I'm always here for you.
The irony? She totally brushed me off, said that "it's not like that" with her new boyfriend. Not much later, she was pregnant and her world was turned upside down. Thankfully, that was years ago, we are now closer than ever and able to talk about *anything* with each other. May you have better luck when you talk with your younger sister!
this website helps me out so much and i do have an older sister that i wish would talk to me more but she can have an attitude sometimes
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