Friday Five: Why Waiting is Worth It
“Waiting” is a word that most teenagers despise. By definition the word means to hold back or delay action for a specific amount of time. I can speak for myself and other males in saying that “waiting” isn’t the easiest thing to do at our age, especially because hormones are raging and our bodies are drastically changing. Despite the impulsivity of the teenage male, it is difficult but important to wait and have sex.
Sex is romanticized and displayed all around our society. From Bud Light commercials to Jersey Shore and Victoria’s Secret temptations surround our everyday life. Beautiful women constantly surround male teenagers lives’ whether it be on magazine covers, buses, or even at school. With all this pressure and eye candy, one would ask…how do we resist the temptation?
Resisting temptations is never an easy thing to do. Though, it might be difficult and stressful, waiting to have sex is an important thing to do. Saying “no” to having sex is more than bold. First you are not succumbing to pure pressure and second, you are able to control your emotions and temptations. Knowing and controlling your own body is one of the most important lessons we can learn as human beings.
So now, you ask me. ”Why should I wait to have sex?” The most important thing to think about when discussing this with a partner or friend is “do I feel ready, safe, and comfortable?” The time will come when you feel ready. One should not rush because his or her friends are all doing it. One should make a decision without any pure pressure or force.
Here are the 5 most important reasons to wait to have sex:
1. Resist Peer Pressure: Sex will not be fun or safe if you are forced into it. Everyone has his or her time, and one should not have sex because everyone else is doing it.
2. It’s Better When You Love Them: Finding someone you trust and feel comfortable with is VERY important. It will be a regretful experience if you choose to have a one-night stand with a random girl/guy. And believe me, everything is more fun when you truly care about the person.
3. There Is Plenty More To Do Than Sex: Most guys will think I’m crazy but sometimes I’m just DTC (Down To Cuddle). To me, there is nothing better than finding a good movie and snuggling. Having fun with a partner does not only mean having intercourse. There are plenty of things one can do that don’t have to do with sex. Take my advice though, snuggling is amazing.
4. Know Yourself: Fighting an urge is very difficult but rewarding when accomplished. Ignoring the temptation will not only make you stronger, but will help you get to know yourself and your limits. Resisting certain temptations is an important lesson to learn…so why not start with sex?
Before number 5, I want everyone reading to understand that I am not against sex. I will not put down those of you who have had sex and I respect whatever you believe is right for you. I am writing as a teenage boy who knows what we, as teens, are dealing with. The pressure that we live with everyday is very difficult but overcoming it is even more wonderful. They say, “the steeper the mountain, the better view from the top”.
5. Have Something to Look Forward to and Not Expect: Don’t be entranced by the idea of sex so early. Have something to look forward to and value instead of making it a hobby. Sex is an intimate connection between two partners and one should not write that off. When something becomes more common, people tend to take it for granted, and that should not happen with something as important as sex
What are your reasons to wait? Do you agree with Yoni? Tell us in the comments!
Yoni is a sixteen-year-old high school student from Washington, DC who enjoys long walks on the beach and loves Tosh.0. Got a question for Yoni? Email us!
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WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:
i agreewith this article, i think it may help confused teens in the future. and i agree there is alot of pressure in high school. Hopefully, this will convince young teens to wait
You tell the truth and what you say makes me feel as if your a teens and just had plenty of knowlege on lost teens
All guys do is think about sex, and don't nobody want to here about it. Some girls want to take things slow if he don't it's more people out there. Experience a little. :)
I think he is right! Not only with the fact about not having sex but also the fact that girls dont always want to have sex there's cuddeling and to not have sex cause you think every one else is but because you care for your partner and yall both want to and feel yall are ready :)
COOL STORY BRO
I agree with what you have said. Im 18 and am a virgin. im in a pretty heated relationship but both of us dont want to have sex.
I'm 16 I lost my virginity to my boyfriend we were each others first. That's what made our relationship special. He had asked if I wanted to in 4 months but my answer was 'I'm scared & I'm not ready' then he was ok with it. When it came to our 6 month I lost it I was pressured -_- he told me 'if you really love me you Will do it' I did love him. I didn't think I was gonna loose it so soon or to somebody that wouldn't ever think would pressure me my boyfriend is sweet & he treats me right. I always thought of loosening it in till I'm married. I don't regret but I do regret how long we've been together its to early. If your gonna loose it loose to somebody that you know its worth don't loose just somebody its not worth it cause you might regret.
I LOVED this! Im 16 and have been in a somewhat physical relationship, and i completely agree with not having sex, untill your ready, untill you know who your going to be with for the rest of your life--but if not that atleast till your in love.
I had sex first when I was 13. It was with my best friend and it didn't seem awkward at all. We would normally hug, kiss, etc..in public, but neither of us wanted to be more than friends. Now, we still do the same thing. I don't regret anything, nor do i wish I've waited. Your article is very kind and inspiring, but I think it might depend on the person.
i believe that yopu should wait to have sex cause u could do so much better if you wait... like haveing a better education for your child and more money to provide for your child !!!!
Thanks for the comments guys, i really appreciate it. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or just need support. I'm here for you guys.
-Yoni (the author) K
If you want to ask Yoni a question, you can email us here!
Guy/Girl it dont matter... Both should respect themselves enough to save it for the one they know they will be with for a really long time. No guy or girl wants to be with someone that just wants sex and doesnt really care about how you feel. No girl should be with someone that just "wants some."
I'm doing teen pregnancy for my senior project! This article helped A LOT! I'm promoting abstinence, and adoption over abortion. I love this article. I'm glad to know that at least SOME guys agree with me. Yoni K: I would love to get in contact with you if you'd like to talk with me more about this, i'd really appreciate it :)
I lost my v-card to someone i didnt truly love i was pressured into it by him and i had known him about a month. I really wish i would have waited. Now I am dating a guy that i hav known my eintire life and we have already talked about it a agreed that we would wait till we were both ready and that we would would never pressure one another into doing something he/she didnt want to do
I agree, In my school in upstate New York our Spirit Night saying was "Get Some"... "Purple Pride" but people turned into a joke a well Get Some is meaning Get Some, well sex... The pressure is everywhere.. Its hard to avoid it.
soo, call me a crazy stupid teen like in movies.. i agree with him.. but maybe having sex will make me feel happier in my relationship?
i think hes right
i think hes right
I completely agree with him. I just recently lost my virginity and I'm not regretting it and I love my boyfriend very much, but then at the same time I still think "maybe it would've been better if I had've waited longer." I've always thought it would be amazing to say I've waited for the one I was going to be with forever. I kind of felt pressured to do it because he told me "I won't wait forever" so it made me do it sooner than I had originally planned. I hate that I fell into the pressure though. :/
dang this guys knows whatsuppp (:<3
I hate it when guys try to pressure girls to go all the way with them when they're not ready. And this author sounds like a true gentleman and any girl would be lucky to be DTC with him. But when I think of sex I think it's not the Nike commerical "Just Do It" its more of a connection with the one you love.
the temptation is very hard to resist but if you do it once you can do it again. especially if your in a relationship. if your partner pressures you then he/she is soo not worth it! i would definently date the author of this he is a truegentleman and every girl wants a gentleman!
I think he is very much right
Haha i would definetly date him! Girls dont want guys that only want sex. It's annoying and puts the girls in awkward, pressured situations that if they dated a good guy (like this author) would never have to deal with.
Good for you :)
I think he is right because girls, like me :), don't like guys who want to do nothing but have sex. It drives me crazy. And being DTC isn't so bad.
I think he is right! but i am really scared of the temptation
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