After what seems like forever, you’ve finally caught yourself a good one—a boyfriend/girlfriend who’s absolutely awesome. You just can’t get enough of this person, and they feel the same way about you. So you become attached at the hip, and start doing everything together. There’s just one little problem: your friends are acting super cold and distant. Why? Because you’re not keeping the friend/relationship balance. Classic mistake, but worry not, you can certainly correct it.  Here’s how:

Have one night a week be girls/guys night. One really easy way to make sure that you’re giving your friends enough attention is to dedicate one night a week to hanging out with them. If you have a set day (let’s say Friday) where you go out and do something with your buddies, then you’ll never wake up one morning and realize that you haven’t seen your friends in a month. Having a perm-a-date keeps you connected, and forces you to dedicate some quality time to your friends on a regular basis. 

When you’re with your friends don’t just talk about your boyfriend/girlfriend. Yes, your friends want to know about important relationship developments. But if all you do when you’re with them is talk about you significant other, they’ll likely get annoyed. Your relationship doesn’t define you, and it’s not the only thing going on in your life. Make sure you tell them about other aspects of your life as well. And of course, be sure to ask them what’s going on in theirs.

When you’re with your friends don’t spend the whole time texting your significant other. Just like your bf/gf would get angry if the whole time you were on a date you were texting your friends, your friends have the right to get angry if the whole time you’re with them you’re texting your bf/gf. If you need to make immediate plans, that’s one thing. But if that’s not the case, keep your phone in your pocket, and call your sweetie after you leave. (That being said, if you’re spending the night at your friend’s house, a 5-10 minute chat before bed is totally reasonable.)

Be there when they need you. People remember who was there for them during hard times. They also remember who wasn’t. If one of your friends is going through a rough patch, or calls you one night COMPLETELY freaking out—be there for them. Even if you’re hanging out with your sweetie at the time, if a friend needs you, they need you. (I’m not talking about an overly needy friend here, I’m talking about someone in real crisis.) Just like you would drop everything and come running if your significant other really needed you, your close friends should get the same treatment.

As tempting as it can be to dive head on into a relationship and never come up for air, you will always need your friends. First of all, you’ll need them so that you don’t become overly dependant on your girlfriend or boyfriend. But also, you’ll need them in case things go wrong. You can never predict the future, and there’s always the chance that a relationship could come to an end—even if everything is perfect right now. Should that day come, guess who will be there to help you pick up the pieces?  That’s right, your friends.

Have you ever forgotten your friends in the heat of a new relationship? How did you bounce back from that? What advice do you have for someone who’s friends are angry with them for being too boy/girlfriend crazy? Tell us your thoughts in the comments!

Amber Madison has been writing about sex, love, and relationships since college (she went to Tufts University) when she wrote for her school newspaper's sex ed column. Since graduating, she's published two books: Hooking Up: A Girl's All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality and Talking Sex With Your Kids and has been quoted in a ton of different media outlets from Seventeen magazine to MTV to NPR. Have a question for Amber? Send us an email!