Do you ever feel like your parents don’t take your relationship seriously? Like they make it seem as though just because you’re young, you couldn’t possibly have any real feeling for your boyfriend or girlfriend or, gasp, maybe even be in love? You’re not alone. A few months back I had the chance to chat up members of the Youth Leadership Team and many of them told me how frustrating it is when their parents don’t get it. That even though they’re young, the ups and downs of being in a relationship are just as real—and sometimes as painful—as adult relationships.

Since your parents probably have a lot more experience with relationships than you do, it’s understandable that they may want to give you their thoughts on matters of the heart. It may seem annoying, like they’re trying to tell you what to do, but it’s likely that they just don’t want to see you get hurt. You could try to talk to them about relationships—not just the one you’re in now, but your parents’ relationship or the one you hope to have someday. 

Another good way to clue them in is by involving them in your relationship. And no, this doesn’t mean they need to start double dating with you. But if they see you and your bf or gf together, watching a movie at your house or having dinner together, they’ll see how you are as a couple, which will make your relationship seem more real to them.

The bottom line is that, even though it was a long time ago, your parents were once teenagers too.  Sometimes they just need a reminder of what it was like for them so they can see it from your point of view.

Do your parents make light of your relationship? Do you feel like they just don’t understand? How did you get them to take you seriously?

Funding for this project was provided by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant Number: 90-FE-0024. Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.

Michelle Hainer is a freelance writer and editor whose work has appeared in numerous national publications including InStyle, The Washington Post, People, and Teen People. A former teen magazine editor, Michelle’s covered everything from pregnancy to peer pressure and is now covering all things relationship for Stay Teen. Have a question for Michelle? Send us an email!