Say What!!! Double Standards Are Not For Me…
I do agree that guys and girls are expected to behave differently in a relationship. I feel that in relationships girls are expected to be kind, emotional, and lenient. They are expected to “ride or die” for their boyfriends no matter what. Guys are expected to be brave, protective, the provider, and the one in charge in the relationship. If a guy cheats, his girlfriend is expected to forgive and forget and stick with him. Whether you decide to live up to the double standard or not, it is difficult especially when you are involved in a relationship.
From my perspective, males and females may live up to this double standard because if they don’t then they will be portrayed in society as a bad boy/girlfriend. By not living up to these standards men may seem weak and women may seem pushy. For example, if a guy is respectful and does things for his girlfriend, he will be looked at as “punk” or “soft”. If a girl speaks up and makes decisions, she may seem “bossy” or “controlling”. Many times it may seem easier to play the role than to challenge it, because if you don’t behave as you’re expected to you run the risk of being the outsider.
To me double standards don’t make sense but I believe many teens don’t know that they’re playing into these roles. Many teens I know behave a certain way in their relationship and really don’t understand that they are creating expectations from each other without even talking about those expectations. This is how people can become pressured into doing things in a relationship that they’re not are ready to do. For example if the expectation is for a man to have sex while in a relationship, he may pressure his girlfriend even if neither of them are ready for sex. Because he thinks he’s supposed to do it, he tries to make it happen without really thinking it through.
I feel that double standards are wrong and it’s not fair for people to automatically be put into boxes due to their sex, age, or race. People should have the right create a relationship that works for them. I feel that people should set their own rules in their relationship without being judged or criticized.
Have you ever been the victim of double standards? How did you deal with it? Tell us in the comments!
Marcus is 16 and from New York, NY. He is a member of The National Campaign’s Youth Leadership Team. His choice in fashion? Headphones, regardless of whether they’re attached to an iPod. Got a question for Marcus? Email us!
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WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:
In one of my relationships my boyfriend only wanted pictures. And I gave it to him and when he couldn't get anymore we broke up about two weeks later. Then he turned into a jerk and now I cant stand even being next to him.
I think moving on to fast is bad. because the other couple might not like what the other person likes. They might sometimes look soft or controlling to each other, and that might maKE YOU LOOK BAD.
I think that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is not only to having someone with you if it is to have someone who loves you
i havent been a victim of double standards but i agree that no one should be pressurred into sex. You should keep your relationship slow and steady. both of the relationship partners should act right when your dating. none of them should be cheating or doing stuff they dont suppos to do. I believe that if your boyfriend/ girlfriend is pressuring you to have sex you should end your relationship because most of the time that's all they want.
I agree that double standards are wrong and that a male and female should not behave like that they should behave in the way that they love each other and that they should be the way they want . Double standards give the male more things then it gives then it gives the female, for example if a guy has a scar on his face that is required as good but on a female that is said as bad. If a male cheats on a female then the female is supposed to forgive him and stick with him and that sounds kind of wrong. So double standards are bad.
have i ever been a victiam no, but i have heard of it. i think it is weird for that to happen because they should feel weird to be doing that because I would be embarressed if my girl friend would say thing like the girl on top did.
i havent been a victim of double standards but i agree that no one should be pressurred into sex. You should keep your relationship slow and steady. both of the relationship partners should act right when your dating. none of them could be cheating or doing other things. i believe that if your boyfriend/ girlfriend is pressuring you to have sex you should end your relationship.
A double standard is a set of rules or standards that have different provisions for one person or group of people than for another.
It sounds to me like he wants to keep you where he wants you but he wants his freedom.i agree that the male should not act how they usally act like around the female.
i think guys do go to fast because all the guys i been with they go to fast but some of them not but i think 90% of them are to fast and mosly not only guys go fast even girls they go fast just like guys but to me i think only 20% of 100 are girls that go fast for there relship
I think people should what they want in the relationship and not have to do what other people say.I mean it`s their relationship not other people`s. They also shouldn`t have to live up to these "Double Standards" if they don`t want to. Because when that happens it can mess up the entire relationship........
when you are in a relationship you have to be careful because sometimes your boyfriend cheats on you with your friend and your friend makes fun of you because they make you look stupid in front of your boyfriend and your friends.sometimes you have to be careful with your friends because sometimes they get you mad or jelous because they come and tell you that they are going out with them even thought they are not.
when i was in a relationship with one of my x-boyfriends he was moving just way to fast for me ...it started out with simple little kisses then he wanted more and i was not ready for it so i ended up breaking up with because i felt uncofortable with him so now i just dont talk to him
being in a relationship you dont have to follow a set of rules.its a bout loving and caring for eachother. girls think its sweet when a guy does stuff for her. it doesnt make a guy weak or punk. and just because a girl speaks up it doesnt make her bossy. i mean its the 21st century girls are considered equal to men now a days.
~042171
No i have never been a victim in double standards. In the relationships i've been both of us make decisions so no one is the boss. I am respectful and do things for my girlfriend. I don't care if my friends or people call me soft or punk. I don't want a relationship like double standards. I want relationships that work out better.
I think double standars are when a girl or a boy in a relationship is sexually active. Here are some examples:
Woman who is sexually inactive.
Woman in low-paying job.
Woman who excels academically.
Woman who is not socially outgoing.
Men are also that.,
you should never push someone to do something that they dont want to do.its not right u go to wait till they are ready.you should rescept there decions
i agree . if you dont wanna do something with a guy someone lables you . if a guy doesnt wanna do stuff with a girl they get labled too . a realtionship should have fights & arguments what realtionship doesnt have that ? everything isnt always going right for them . but i think if someone speaks their mind there the boss . which is not true she / he is just puting the word out so nothing bad will happen between them .
ive never been in a double stander but it doesnt sound good either. if i was ever in that i wouldnt like to be expected to act a certin way. the guy or girl should love you just the way you are. they shouldnt change you just because they want you to. it not right to do that.
i fell that in my relationship it is alright because we are movin slow and nice and me and her dont want to have kids so we are good about that and we kiss here and there and dont do alot in public.i think we are going to be together for a long time. she likes how i am and i like how she is.
I remember this one time I got in trouble for using the girls bathroom even though technically I'm a male. I identify as a girl, so shouldn't I be able to use the girl's bathroom?
when i was in a relationship my boyfriend was moving just way to fast for me ...it started out with simple little kisses then he wanted more and i was not ready so i decided if he made me feel that uncomfortable then i should end the relationship so i did..in the end it was for the better
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