Features

Stay Out Loud
What's Your Relationship Reality?
Myth Vs. Fact
If I Knew Then...
In the Media

There's No Timeline for Sex

Sex is serious. It seems that with each coming generation it becomes less of big deal. Call me old fashioned but I feel that sex is something that shouldn’t be brushed off. Sex is the most intimate thing you can do with another person so it should still deserve your time to think about it and make sure you are making the right decision. I am in no way saying that people should never have sex or never even think about it. I believe if you feel you are ready and it is with someone you love and know you can count on then sex could be an option. But also if you are you with someone whom you love and know will be there for you and your still not ready that is perfectly normal as well.

Since sex is serious it should not have a timer attached to it. Just because you have been with a person for certain amount of time doesn’t mean by a certain month or week that you should have had sex already. These decisions are going to be different for everyone and they should be. My decision should be different from my best friend and it shouldn’t matter if it is before or after her. My timeline is set by me and who I am with only. It is not anyone else’s business or concern to tell me when I am ready.  All decisions should be okay with YOU. Most people would agree that the consequences that come with sex are serious enough that sex should be taken with the utmost care. If sex didn’t have any repercussions then everything would be a lot different. Understanding all emotional and physical consequences of sex is very important. No one wants to be surprised when it comes to anything that intimate. Even if you think you know everything about sex and preventing pregnancy it doesn’t it any less serious.

Most of my friends think the same way I do, sex is serious. We think that it depends on the person and how long you have been together and whether or not you truly love them. We believe in the love aspect. None of my friends and I take this decision lightly. But I cannot say this for people in my grade or my school. Every place you go whether it be high school or college, there is going to be a diverse range of people who have their own personal beliefs on sex. But the best thing you can do is stick to your guns and don’t even let a best friend sway you because their reasons are not yours.

Have you ever felt like you needed to compare yourself to others when I came to sex and dating? Did you feel pressure from your friends? Or were you able to make your own choices?

Mollie is 17 years old and lives in Washington, DC. She is a member of The National Campaign's DC Teen Advisory Group and is an avid soccer player. Mollie can’t get enough black olives in her life.

 

Posted on Jul 22, 2011 by Mollie M.
UNDER

WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:

ON MAY 4, 2012 AT 2:13 PM, MRS.BHADDFOREVER SAID:

i feel real bad for the 13 year old thats pregnant

ON FEBRUARY 27, 2012 AT 4:24 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

im 14 and im in a relationship..though me and my partner want to have sex but the thing is i feel ready sometimes and then i dont...is sooo complicated:(

ON DECEMBER 13, 2011 AT 3:08 PM, ANASTACIA A. SAID:

I have been thinking about sex from sometime now. I am doing a report about teens and sex and sex education. Most teens know about sex and that sex can be bad if you dont use protection but they dont know all the dramatic effects it can have on ones life. "Sex is serious", I agree 100%. I have only been with my boyfriend for about 3 months now and they may not seem like a long time but wee both feel like we are in love. I told myself it wasn't really big of a deal I mean if I love him then why wait? As I found this website for my school research I realized how important and serious sex really is. I can't talk to my mother about sex or anything as a matter of fact , so finding this website must and had to of been a sign. I am comfortable to say, I dont think im ready to worry if im pregnet and what will happen to me or the baby or my relationship. Im not ready to feel like i did something terrible and have regrets. Im not ready for sex. Im glad I didnt and I am even more happy that I still have special gift. (: Thanks to this website I can also inform others and help them understand why it is better to wait !

ON NOVEMBER 18, 2011 AT 11:28 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i agree and im only 13 and i have already had sex with like three guys and well i need help and that didnt help much with the stuff i need to know or w.e. and i dont know what to do at all and i need help and the sad thing is... i think im pregnant :(

ON OCTOBER 31, 2011 AT 10:43 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

sex is No joke!!!! it will mess up your life. for some fortunate girls out there that know how to say no but others dont have enough will power to say no. so try to stay a teen as long as you can. it will benefit you in your life.

ON SEPTEMBER 29, 2011 AT 12:14 PM, AUTUMN SAID:

i agree, when your in a relaionship you should deff, wait and hink it through, i also think that both partners should sit down and discuss having sex and the pros and cons. im 13 and i just went to a clinic for birthcontrol and condoms, me and my boyfriend have been togther for 2 years since i wwas 11 and weve decided were ready. DONT RUSH.!!!!

ON AUGUST 25, 2011 AT 10:33 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I think we live in a world that works as a coin. One side says "stay virgin or you will be punished" and the other shows people having fun by having sex. What is trully complicated to get is the correct balance. Some times we rush because we think we are ready and then feel gulty or unprepared. Or just goes through life having casual things. Neither, I belive, is a way of growing as a person. I belive in sex with love, but if someone does not what I would tell him/her is to be certain this is what he wants. Some time desire blinds us. If you realice you thought to love someone and then you did not, but you have already done it dont ground yourself for life. Next time be more careful. And always, always, always protecto!

ON AUGUST 19, 2011 AT 11:23 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i agree if you are with someone you really love and you think you're ready sex don't hold back just be sure you have comdom

ON AUGUST 17, 2011 AT 1:00 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I'm a teen mom and I'm just gonna say that I know some teens can't wait to be a mom. But let me just say its hard work. And I'm also harder for me because I have to work two jobs and barley get to see my baby. So have safe sex(or don't do it)

ON AUGUST 16, 2011 AT 3:42 PM, :) SAID:

I'm 18 years old, going to be 19 in a few months. Im going to be a freshman in a community college. I have never smoked anything, never drank anything, and...I'm still a virgin. I am completely happy, proud, and confident. I love who I am and if someone does not like me for me, then they are not worth my time. I'm a straight A student who is into sports, while still being a bit girly. Guys always seem to like me. I get asked out by guys a lot and I get asked on dates, etc. Honestly, when I stay true to who I am, it will be easier for me to find someone who likes me for me. I realize that may sound cocky, Im really not like that at all! I just think us girls need to be confident and love who we are, because if we don't then we will never know who truly loves us too. So stay true to you, and always remember, at the end of the day, it's your decision, not theirs on what you do :) xoxoxo

ON AUGUST 4, 2011 AT 8:02 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Im worried because my bf wants to have sex but im not ready and I need to do something

ON AUGUST 3, 2011 AT 7:49 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

iFeel this is very true, iHave a friend that tries to pressure me into doing tbings im not comfortable with & she thinks sex is just a way to show how much you love someone, but she doesnt think about the consequences that could come to her.

ON AUGUST 3, 2011 AT 5:47 PM, CALLIE SAID:

I don't think sex after your first time is really a big deal. people blow it up into this big cliche relationship ruiner, but EVERONE does it. as long as your safe and not stupid you shouldn't have to wait til your frickin 30. and if anything, sex will help a relationship if the person your with isn't just using you

ON AUGUST 3, 2011 AT 3:40 PM, OHNESHA SAID:

WOW really id never had SEX yet but ill try to wait. But if i cant try to help then ......

ON AUGUST 3, 2011 AT 1:17 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I completely agree with this. I think people forget about the reason that people have sex in the first place: because they are in love with the other person, and have no doubts in their relationship.

If people aren't ready, then they shouldn't do it! Especially if you have a friend that pressures you, that's not right. If you ask, and they answer your questions about sex, then that is perfectly normal. But not for them to tell you to do it.

Sex is for people that love each other.
(People that LOVE each other, not feel LUST for each other.)

ON AUGUST 2, 2011 AT 11:15 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I take it seriously but someone I know does not she's 16 & pregnant I don't know how to help her what can I do

ON JULY 27, 2011 AT 2:07 PM, ANONYMOUS ♥ SAID:

I've had sex and honestly, I wish I had waited. I don't think I was completely ready when I did, and now it's hard for me to be in a relationship without worrying about how sex could effect it. Had I the choice to go back and change what I did, I would. I miss the innocence I had and the worry-free life I lived. Sex complicates everything from your friendships to relationships. It changes how you view others as well. I'm currently 17 and trying my best to keep sex completely out of the picture until some time after high school. It isn't worth it.

ON JULY 25, 2011 AT 5:40 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I have thought about having sex but I'm young and it's hard to wanna do it cause all my friends have done it

ON JULY 25, 2011 AT 11:41 AM, LILY SAID:

Yes it is so true!! i had a boyfried and he asked me to have sex with him and uh im only 13 so i broke up with him! He is 14 so he is a year older than me but still!

ON JULY 23, 2011 AT 9:37 AM, HANNAH SAID:

I'm "old- fashioned" like you, Mollie. My sister lost her virginity at 14, and I asked my mom for a promise ring, so I wouldn't do anything stupid. Sometimes I feel like I'm ready to have sex, but I'm only 13. It's not right. My sister is now very messed up from having sex. Sex is very serious. Sometimes, its hard for you to make your own choices. But you have to make them at some point! :)

ON JULY 23, 2011 AT 1:55 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I liked what you said. it is completely true.

ON JULY 22, 2011 AT 2:37 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Love it Mollie! I'm sharing this will all of the students I work with!

ON JULY 22, 2011 AT 12:50 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ARTICLE!

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK:

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
Read our comment policy

Take the National Day Quiz!

 
Enter your zip code below to find a health center nearby.
 
 
 

Follow Us
Tweets