It’s hard to have a healthy relationship when you’re not sure what one looks like! Relationships tend to be stronger when both people share things like common goals and interests, but what else do you think needs to be part of a relationship? Check out what some teens have to say about what makes up a healthy relationship.

Want to hear more? We asked the teens featured in this video to tell us more about healthy relationships and exactly what they think is the most important part of a good relationship. Here's what they had to say.

What is the most important thing to have in a healthy relationship?
Alejandro A.

From my point of view, the number one thing that breaks up teenage couples is lack of communication. We teens are very stubborn and headstrong, and the second we hear something, we already have an opinion and course of action planned out before even thinking about it. For example, many times a couple breaks up because rumors are going around about one person cheating on the other. More often than not, these rumors are only rumors. But when a guy or girl hears that their boyfriend/girlfriend has cheated on them, how can one expect to react calmly? I know many people who’d get very anxious and paranoid, and they would begin to question their girlfriends/boyfriends to no end. That will be the case, at least, if the people in the relationship don’t communicate well.

I have two friends who have broken up at least five times because of miscommunication. Once for not telling each other where they were, once for not telling WHO they were with, and the list could go on and on. Not communicating is, to me, one of the main causes of break-ups. Rumors start based on half-truths. So, an example would be to say someone saw a girl who isn’t single hang out with another boy. Immediately one believes that she’s cheating on her boyfriend. If the relationship is healthy, and there is good communication between the two partners, then both of them would know the situation and not have to worry about it.

One can avoid so many problems like jealousy, dishonesty, and envy with simple communication. Talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend, and so many things become clearer.

Alejandro is a freshman at NYU, studying Biology and Chemical Engineering. He loves musical theatre, playing ultimate Frisbee, and being romantic.His jokes are also really cheesy. Got a question for Alejandro? Email us!

What do you want in a boyfriend?
By Amanda P.

Ever since I was 14, I wrote lists for everything I wanted for the new year, including what I wanted in a potential boyfriend.  That year I had just started high school, and it seemed the key to happiness was to have an athletic boyfriend who was a grade or two older.  So my new year’s list for what I wanted in a boyfriend consisted of 3 superficial things: a hot body, popular, and a nice car.   What more does a girl need, right?

I was so wrong.  And, I’m proud to say that, at 19, I’ve found out what is really important in a boyfriend. My list for an ideal boyfriend in 2011: open to new experiences and cultures, intelligent, responsible, confident, and considerate. 

In the past 5 years, I’ve found out how important it is to be compatible with someone and have them be similar in some of your personality traits.  One key aspect of my personality is that I love to travel and explore different cultures.  After dating some people who weren’t interested in exploring cultures, or didn’t have an open mind, I realized I needed to be in a relationship with someone I could share those experiences with. 

I also want someone who works as hard in school as I do, since a lot of my time is taken up by homework.  A guy who is confident with few insecurities is also a plus because then he won’t add pressure to the relationship by worrying about himself.  I find if someone isn’t mostly comfortable with himself or herself when they are in a relationship, it only leads to trouble.

Out of everything I want in a boyfriend, I believe the most important quality is that my boyfriend is considerate.  I feel that as long as I date a guy who considers my feelings when he is making decisions, he will never intentionally upset me.   If we are both considerate of each other, and we are honest with how we feel, we can have a healthy relationship no matter what.

Amanda is 19 years old and from Monterey, California.  She loves to travel and learn different languages.  In her free time she does yoga, volunteers, and tries out new vegetarian food recipes.  Her current favorite recipe is vegan brownie cupcakes! Got a question for Amanda? Email us!

What are the most important things to have in a healthy relationship?
Stacy S.

It can be hard to spot a healthy relationship, so it’s important to know what’s involved in one.  Healthy relationships are based on the belief that partners are equal; they share trust, respect, honesty, communication, and friendship. Trust is established through honestly and respect and is built over time. Mutual respect is created by listening to one another’s thoughts and ideas openly without judging; making a caring effort to understand the other’s emotions and point of view. Respecting one another’s personal boundaries is also needed. A healthy relationship involves both individuals being themselves and sharing their feelings honestly. With truth, there shouldn’t be manipulation, deceit or game-playing. Good communication doesn’t include negative tactics, such as the silent treatment, put-downs, guilt, or criticism. Communication is expressing your thoughts, feelings, needs and wishes to your other. Also, you can’t have a healthy relationship if you can’t hold them as one of your best friends; if you have a great friendship and get along well, then everything else will fall into place.

Stacy is 15 years old and from Grand Prairie, TX. She loves cheerleading and dance and when she's not doing that, she loves going shopping with her friends and watching movies. She's a girl of adventure and loves going to new places and hiking, biking, and taking nature walks. Got a question for Stacy? Email us!

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Funding for this project was provided by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant Number: 90-FE-0024. Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.