When Your Best Friend Wants to Date Your Boy
You and your BFF share everything from clothes to chemistry notes, but one thing has always been off limits—your crush. Until now, that is. It seems that the guy you’ve had your eye on for months likes her—and she likes him back! Even worse, she wants to date him, and she wants you to be OK with it.
Finding out that your crush is into someone else is never easy, but it’s especially hard when that someone is your best friend. You could forbid her from seeing him, but that won’t do anyone any good. She’ll end up resenting you for keeping her from exploring a relationship with this guy, and just because he can’t have her doesn’t mean he’ll suddenly decide to start liking you. The bottom line: no one wins.
But you can’t be expected to watch them be all lovey-dovey around you either. Have a frank conversation with your friend about your feelings. Let her know that you really liked this guy, and while you’re sad that he doesn’t feel the same way, you won’t stop her from dating him. Then make it clear that you don’t want to be the third wheel hanging out with them all the time. When the two of you make plans, her boy needs to bow out.
Now if your friend wants to date your ex, as in a guy you actually had a relationship with, you may need to draw the line. There are plenty of boys out there—she doesn’t need to double dip. And since you probably told her ALL of the details of your relationship with him, it could make things really awkward—especially if things didn’t end well. Your best bet: make a pact with your friends that you won’t date their past boyfriends. It’ll save you a lot of weirdness and a friendship or two.
Have you ever dated a boy your friend had a crush on? How did you handle it?
Funding for this project was provided by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant Number: 90-FE-0024. Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.
Michelle Hainer is a freelance writer and editor whose work has appeared in numerous national publications including InStyle, The Washington Post, People, and Teen People. A former teen magazine editor, Michelle’s covered everything from pregnancy to peer pressure and is now covering all things relationship for Stay Teen. Have a question for Michelle? Send us an email!
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WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:
*Sigh* I was so sad today. I wish my crush will like me back! But that will never happen... *Sigh*
My story is a little different but i still need help with this situation.
Im a dating a boy and my best friend likes him and i know he likes her back and i think my relationship might be ending quickly because of the two, I really really like this guy and if he breaks up with me for my best friend. I think i would probably break down, because how much i like him because we have been going out for almost a year. So how do i deal with this situation.
i'm in year at and my best friend is has resently started going out with the boy i fancied since last summer. the boy i fancy is the first boy i've properly liked since i was in a bad relationship, near the beginning of last year. i told my best friend at the start of march and she was the first person i told, she told me she'd help tell the boy i like him. instead she bagged him for herself. i still want to be friends with her but its really awkward 'cause she keeps asking me if i okay with it and asking if there is anything she can do, she knows that the only thing is to not go out with him. you may think of it as mean, but she only likes this boy a bit and i'm head over heels for him! i dont know what to do......................
Listen I need help I've had a crush on this guy forever and my best friend (who has a boyfriend) all of the sudden she likes my crush oh and my best friend is really mean to me out of school but then all of the boys don't know that and have a crush on her also she is thinking about dumping her boyfriend to ask out my crush who obviously likes her but I'm not sure he likes me ALSo no one know that I have a crush on him and I'm too afraid to tell anyone
My best friend had a crush on this one guy for a little over a year now, but he doesn't feel the same way. A few days ago we made out at this party. He is now saying that he could have feelings for me and I feel the same way. I don't know what to do.
so me and best friend are really close and she knows that i still have huge feelings for my ex and so everytime she sees us together laughing and talking she interupts and so i snap at her and tell her i will meet u in class the reason why she likes him is because i went out with him and she wants to copy everything about me and so she keeps telling me that he hates me and that he thinks i am sooougly so i decided to tell her that she is a and so me and him are really close and i think he likes her but shes the ugliest girl in the world and he is so cute and i know that he still likes me and she is trying to get me away from him and shes getting closer to him and his friends and she telling them lies about me and getting closer to them i hate her know i pucnhed her and so she left the state all i have to say to her is peace out and dont trip i so got back together with him and we are more happier than ever and i hate the other > girls out there who feel like your friend(s) are betraying you say something dont wait until they say i dont like him anymore then your over it say something before its late.
I recently started dating a guy that my best friend hooked me up with. Apparently, he was interested in her and she was not attracted to him so she decided to set me up with him.
When we met the attraction was instantenous - we couldn't get enough of each other but recently he has been speaking about her alot. He buys her gifts, takes her to dinner, they go to gym together and text each other alot. I was in bed with him once and he asked me if I heard from her because he didn't hear from her all week. As if that wasn't enough, we were going to dinner one night and he asked me if i liked his shirt, I told him yes and he then told me that my best friend picked it out for him. It's like she's constantly on his mind.
I'm confused because I really like him and I scared to ask him about his feelings for her. Should i tell him how much it's bothering me or should I just ignore it?
I have been going back and forth on this and telling myself that I'm insecure but this is way more than I can handle.
Last weekend a female friend of mine through a birthday party where a close guy friend of hers was there. They've had history, but they never had a serious relationship, and from what i gathered as well as what I know about her personal life, she seemed indifferent towards him. Now, Ive seen him many times before but this time we clicked. I dont remember last time i had that kind of connection. Surreal really. Alright Anyway... i suggested we go for a drink and get to know eachother a little more. I didnt see the problem in that, but a part of me thought it would be the right thing to just mention to my female friend that we grabbed a moca at a coffee place. Boy did i face the unexpecetd. She really took me off by surprise. What, all of a sudden she is inlove with him? She almost cried, and through an ultimatum that i had to choose between him or her. That he was her property. Excuse me what? And to tell you the truth, that put me off so much that I kind of lost respect for her and found her extremely selfish towards MY needs. No one has the right to own anyone like that especially if they never had anything official.I get it, she feels possessive, as do we all when we have feelings for someone but come on, you cant keep him for yourself, and then see other men, and that tell me i have to choose. How should i digest this?
So, I have two best friends, a girl and boy. I've liked the boy ever since I met him, even know we were total enemies at first. Now we talk all the time. He's really cute and sweet and we flirt. My friend that's a girl didn't even like him until I invited her to hang out with the guy and I. Now, she's head over heels for him. I think he likes her too, but he may like me also. I keep telling him to date her, even know it kills me inside. I've been really sad lately watching them flirt. What do I do? Do I tell them?
that is good information but am different problem
My best freind is going out with my ex boyfriend. I really truly still have feelings for him. I am always thinking of him. they went out for 2 weeks. she kinda likes him. but he really likes her. and i want him back. except i dont know if i should tell him how i feel. or if i shoud tell my best friend how i feel or what? i really want to go back out with him. he was my first boyfriend. we broke up last year. and i really really want him back.... what should i do?! ):
i think my ex like my bff but im not tripping...well yes i am but if they go out i think they both are fake :)
i had a huge crush on this guy for about 2-3 months. we met at school and we immediately hit it off. we never told each other we had feelings for each other but everyone knew it. my friends knew it and his friends knew it but for some reason we were both total idiots and didnt tell each other. so the day i was going to tell him how i felt, he tells me he has feelings for my best friend (At the time). i was so crushed. i never felts this way about any guy and i just couldnt believe it. i ended up not talking to him. he asked my best friend out and she asked me if it was ok if she dated him and me being a doormat like always said "sure" but deep inside i knew i was hurt. they dated for about a month and a couple of days until they broke up. a few months later he comes back to me and tells me that he still likes me and he always liked me he just dated my friend because i was intimidating, whatever that means. so, of course, i talked to my friend about it and she said it was ok because she knew from the get go that i liked him. and me and him have been together for 4 years and we are actually engaged. but learn from my experience. if you like a guy tell him how you feel before everyone gets hurt. so its not always bad to date the 'ex' of your friends especially if you know it will work great for you. he is a human being not a piece of property. so your 'friend' does not own him. life is too short to follow such stupid rules. high school surely does not last forever.
So my best friend of 10 years, knows all the details of my relationship with this one guy. It ended between me and him a few moths ago..but the worst part was that he dumped me on my birthday, and i later found out he had cheated on me. I cried everyday for a long time. My best friend likes him, and he likes her back. He was all "wanna makeout?" and i left. I couldnt benaround that. She asked me if it was ok if she dated him, i said yes because i know how much she likes him and how much he likes her. It kills me inside to hear him say i love you to her, and hear about what they did together. I dont know what to do!! I dont know if i should tell her the truth or bot?
i broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago because theres rumors going around that he likes my best friend. My best friend told me that she likes him. but we dont know if he likes her bak. i love him hes the best guy in the world.. but these rumors are tearing us apart. not only that but there ALWAYS HANGING OUT WITH EACH OTHER and another girl likes him!!!!! I say im not mad but deep down im p-----.im trying my best to surround myself with friends who care about me.... cuz my best friend is always thinking about herself not about other people...
I really don't know what to tell my best friend. She really likes my ex but she won't talk to me about it. She says it's weird cause I went out with him. -_- I told her to go for it, but I don't even know if I like him still... But I guess it is what it is. Because when I went out with him she really liked him but we weren't really close friends at that time.... So yeah she's really confusing and if they go out it would be weird and I'll act like it's ok when in reality it's not. How can you go out with your best friends ex when yuu knew she really liked him anid still kinda liked him..? That isn't right !
this happened to me last night and im trying to be ok with it but i cant and its really hard. my bff and i talked about it but she just got all mad at me and started yelling at me over txts..... and while the guy and i went out he would always txt my bff first and flirt w her and never txt me but he said he aparently really liked me.... but now they r going out and r really lovey dovey and its sooo annoying and they dont even care how i feel! they didnt even ask!
i agree my bff liked my boyfriend and we wnded up both friendless and i ended up with a cheating boyfriend. =[
Well my ex-bf had a crush on my bff she told me she didnt like but he never said he didnt like her which scarde but my other friend liked him as soon as we brook up she asked him out the same day we brook up and he said yes. I hated them but now they hate each other he wants me still and i want him but i cant forgive him anymore he didnt even care that if he got hert in fight i would kill myself so we brook up. none of my bff know this.
Short and simple.... My current boyfriend had a crush on my best friend and was flirting with her while she was going out with his best friend. He ended up flirting with me next and my best friend called me one night and informed me that he had been telling her the same things he had been telling me. I had felt stupid because I actually thought that we still had a chance of being togheter so I ended up getting hurt and being so angry at him. I eventually told him what I knew and he apologized so I forgave him... Few days later he asks me out and I say yes. The beggining of the school year comes and so knowing that my best friend had once told me that she liked him only alittle made me feel horrible at the fact that they soon became best friends and had this whole close friendship togheter which gets me sad and mad and jealous at everything that they do because of the fact about the past.. My boyfriend and I are a year and I still feel this way... My best friend and I aren't as close anymore .. What should I do for everything to get better between me and my ex-friend and my relationship with my boyfriend??
So I have this best friend and she really liked this guy for a long time, she says for 6 years but I never believed her. She had so many boyfriends while she still liked that one guy. Then she claimed she was over him, right? So I started talking to him, never thinking I would actually like him, but I ended up liking him anyways. And when we started going out, she flipped out on me, but was "totally cool with it" for him. I ignored her for awhile and pretended like it didn't bother me, but it did. She ended up being cool with it...which was nice! Anyways, I ended up dumping the guy for someone else. Now my best friend likes him again...but it doesn't bother me a bit. It really doesn't. The thing is though, he hates her and still likes me.../:
I'm having a problem similar to this. My bestfriend liked this guy when we were in middle school and I think a little in 9th grade. They were talking but they never went out. So a while we were talking and I found out he liked me,and as we start talking I began to like him to. So recently he asked me out and in the past,she told me "It's cool if you guys go out." So when he asked I said "Yes" and I told her and she seemed super hurt and disappointed in me. She's like my sister and I would never want to loose her. So the boy asked did I just want to put the "relationship" on hold and I said "Yeah". But I don't know what to say to her now ?
but i have this best friend and i never told him how i felt because he used to date my niece. i did tell this girl who was like my best friend but now their in a relationship and she pregnate.... what do i do?
This has happened to me. I liked this guy last year and he told me he didn't like me and then soon after he met my bestfriend since I was 2 and they decided to go out. It really hurt, but after 3 months she cheated on him! I was hurt for him. I still like him and I'm pretty sure he now likes me! I think he feels bad about what happend before. And though my "best friend" seems okay with me liking him she tends to put me down a lot. She has for like 2 or 3 years. It makes you wonder if just because you've been friends with someone for a long time if they are a real friend.
I once dated my best friends ex and we didnt talk for months. She started to resent me and be mean to me because she was so mad. I didnt know what to do.
This happened to me and my best friend. She and I both had a crush on the same guy (I didn't know she liked him until he asked me out and she didn't know I liked him either). When he asked me out I (of course) told her about it and that's when she told me that she had a crush on him. She said it was fine with her but she was still pretty sad about it. Then after about 1 month she liked another guy...who was my ex. I wasn't really all for her going out with him; not because I still liked him, but because I knew how mean he was and just was not worth it. But, I was still enthusiastic about it, because, well, she's my best friend and she was the same was with me and my boyfriend. Well we all ended up going to a movie together (me, her, my boyfriend, my ex, on of our good friends, and our friend's girlfriend). At least that was how it was planed. My ex was a no-show. He really hurt my best friend, because she lost a really good friend over it (one of his other ex's that wasn't over him yet). Well my boyfriend and I have been going out for 7 months now and I really like him. I love my best friend for letting me go out with him<3 thank you girly! She still kinda likes my boyfriend, but it's fine with me 'cause I know she won't do anything that would hurt me. But this whole experience made me realize why I tend to hang out with guys more than other girls. girlfriends=a lot of drama, broken hearts, and backstabbing. guyfriends=less drama, great friends, better boyfriends, and no backstabbing.
i use to date this guy who i actually loved.but when we broke up he decided to start liking my best friend and she liked him back!! i was so hurt by both of them; that i cried every night and started treating both of them mean.it wasnt her fault it was his.because he wanted to break up my friendship with my best friend
One of the reasons I avoid friendships with other girls in general... Too many things could happen and lead to heartache and backstabbing... Although having all guy friends can also lead to a lot of heartache, and unfortunate realizations of what the friendship really means to them.
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