Rejection: it hurts. No one likes hearing the word “no” come out of anyone’s mouth, especially from a boyfriend or girlfriend. But those two letters could be the reason you don’t become pregnant or contract an STI. No matter how hard or uncomfortable it is, we need to know it’s okay to say no to sex. Teens must think twice before having sex, because once it’s done, there is no going back.

I do agree that guys and girls are expected to behave differently in a relationship. I feel that in relationships girls are expected to be kind, emotional, and lenient. They are expected to “ride or die” for their boyfriends no matter what. Guys are expected to be brave, protective, the provider, and the one in charge in the relationship. If a guy cheats, his girlfriend is expected to forgive and forget and stick with him. Whether you decide to live up to the double standard or not, it is difficult especially when you are involved in a relationship.   

A recentsurvey conducted by ESSENCE Magazine in partnership with The National Campaign revealed that black youth say they feel a lot of pressure to have sex, that the pressure comes from many sources, and that giving in to this pressure often leads to both risk and regret. What was also surprising in the poll is that nearly half (48%) of the respondents say they have lied to get out of a sexual situation. Why does someone feel the need to lie to avoid a sexual situation?

Labels such as thug, gangster, and dangerous (just to name a few) have been used by the media to describe men of color for years.  I feel like some young black men may identify with the term “player” just because it’s already assumed that they are or they feel like it’s the only role that they can achieve.    

Whether from friends, your significant other, or your new hook-up, at some point you may face some pressure when it comes to sex.  And while there’s no magic words that will make that pressure disappear, knowing the following will help you deal with it better, and feel it less.

What is love? How much do you care about one another? What do you love about the other person? How long do you think you will stay together? What do people in love do? Are you being honest about how much you love one another? What are you afraid of will happen if you fall out of love? Is it fun to be in love?These are all questions that come to mind when people talk about “love”.

Sex is serious. It seems that with each coming generation it becomes less of big deal. Call me old fashioned but I feel that sex is something that shouldn’t be brushed off. Sex is the most intimate thing you can do with another person so it should still deserve your time to think about it and make sure you are making the right decision. I am in no way saying that people should never have sex or never even think about it. I believe if you feel you are ready and it is with someone you love and know you can count on then sex could be an option. But also if you are you with someone whom you love and know will be there for you and your still not ready that is perfectly normal as well.

Although I have an older sister who I saw go through the turbulence and heartbreaks of relationships, she never actually gave me dating love and advice. And after having experienced my own share of relationship mistakes, I really wish my sister had given me some sort of advice that could have prevented the idiotic mistakes I made. Having gone through the troubles of relationships herself, I wish she would have sat me down and told me things about boys and how I should be treated in a relationship. There are many things I would have liked to be made aware of, and when the time comes, I plan on giving my younger sister a head's up on the four things I wish I would have learned from my older sister.

“Waiting” is a word that most teenagers despise. By definition the word means to hold back or delay action for a specific amount of time. I can speak for myself and other males in saying that “waiting” isn’t the easiest thing to do at our age, especially because hormones are raging and our bodies are drastically changing. Despite the impulsivity of the teenage male, it is difficult but important to wait and have sex.