Sometimes it can be almost impossible to look at your relationship objectively. But if you’re concerned that your partner is abusive, your instincts are probably right. Go through our dating abuse checklist and see if your partner has said or done any of the things below. Can you answer agree with some or many of the statements below? If so, it’s time to think about getting help and getting out.

• My partner teases me in ways that hurt my feelings.
• My partner calls me mean names like "stupid" or "fat" or “worthless”.
• My partner acts jealous of the time I spend with friends, family, or people I’m in class with.
• My partner gets angry about the clothes I wear or how I style my hair or they try to control how I look.
• My partner checks up on me by calling, driving by my house, or getting someone else to call/drive by my house.
• My partner always wants to know who I talk to on the phone or who I’ve texted.
• My partner says it’s my fault when they have a bad day or are in a bad mood.
• My partner throws or destroys things when angry.
• My partner hits walls, drives dangerously, or does other things that scare me.
• My partner drinks excessively or uses drugs.
• My partner insists that I drink or use drugs whenever they do.
• My partner often accuses me of cheating or of being into other people.
• My partner doesn’t respect my privacy (he/she reads my email, goes through my personal things, demands access to my desk/locker, insists on seeing my text message history).
• My partner has threatened to hurt me.
• My partner has threatened to commit suicide if I leave.
• My partner has intentionally hit, kicked, slapped, punched, or otherwise hurt me.
• My partner has given me visible bruises, welts, or cuts.
• My partner forces me to go further sexually than I want to.
• My partner is mean to me in front of other people, but sweet, kind, and apologetic when we’re alone.
• My friends have told me they worry about me because of my partner/ think my partner is abusive.

If you or someone you know is a victim of abuse, seek help. You are not alone and there are places you can turn to for help. Talk to your parents, a teacher, or another adult you can trust.  You can also contact the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 (1-866-331-8453 for the hearing impaired) or online at www.loveisrespect.org. They offer help 24/7 immediate, confidential assistance where you can find support as well as referrals to local resources in your hometown to provide you with the help that you need.

Funding for this project was provided by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant Number: 90-FE-0024.Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.