THAT'S WHAT HE SAID
What Guys Think About Sex, Love, Contraception, and Relationships

Ever wonder what guys really think about relationships, love, and sex? Truth is, there's more to most guys than meets the eye. To get to the bottom of what guys are really thinking, The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and Seventeen magazine surveyed 1,200 guys about their attitudes toward romance and relationships. Some stereotypes are contradicted, such as guys being in a rush to have sex, that relationships don't matter, and that they don't care what girls think. Others, however, are confirmed: there is definitely a double standard between the genders and guys tend to lie about sex... a lot.

Here's what we learned:

  • Relationships are more important than sex. 66% of guys would rather have a girlfriend and no sex than sex but no girlfriend. Not only that, but more than half the guys surveyed would not have sex with someone unless they loved her.
    • More than half of sexually experienced guys would rather give up sex for a month than give up going online for a month.
    • 61% of guys would rather have sex with someone who is "super hot" than with someone who is "smart and funny", though 78% would rather be in a relationship with someone who is smart and funny than someone who is super hot.
    • Guy talk about relationships: "A good relationship is like you're comfortable with the person and close with the person. You don't have a problem being with them or being yourself. You don't have a problem being honest. Someone that you can relate to, that you don't have to be afraid that you're going to mess up something."
  • Guys feel pressure to have sex. One in five say they've been pressured by a girl to go further sexually than they were comfortable with. 78% of the guys thought there is "way too much pressure" from society to have sex.
    • Guy talk about pressure: "I feel like it's just the pressure to do it because you're just around so many people who claim that they've had sex, you don't want to be the odd man out. There are people who lie about it, just so they can be 'in.' I don't think it's about being ready for when you find the person you love, because when you find them, it's not going to matter whether you know what you're doing or not, they're going to love you regardless."
  • Often guys want to wait. Almost three out of four guys say they have more respect for girls who say no to sex and 77% admit that sex can be intimidating for guys. More than half of guys say they are relieved when a girl wants to wait.
    • Guy talk about saying no: "If a girl is willing to wait, I respect her more than a girl who's like, "Yeah, I'll have sex with you." There's people like that. I don't really respect those girls as much as I respect a girl who says, 'I'm going to wait until I really want to do it.'"
  • The first time is a big deal for guys, too. Not only do two-thirds of sexually experienced guys think the first time they had sex was a big deal, three-quarters of virgin guys say they would rather wait and lose their virginity with someone they love. 80% of virgins think their first time will be a big deal.
  • They might need a refresher in sex education. 42% don't know that it's possible for a girl to get pregnant during her period, 34% don't know that wearing two condoms is not more effective than wearing one (it's actually worse - think friction and tearing), one in five don't know that pregnancy is possible even when the girl is on the pill, and 15 % don't know that condoms aren't foolproof.
  • Guys take some serious risks during sex. Even though they claim to know a lot about pregnancy prevention and contraception, more than half admit they've had unprotected sex. Nearly half (44%) of sexually-experienced guys say they've had pregnancy scares!
  • Guys lie about sex... a lot. 60% of guys admit they've lied about sex, from being in love when they weren't or weren't sure, to how far they've gone sexually, and the number of partners they've had. They say they do it to look cool, to protect their reputation and to appear more sexually experienced.
    • Guy talk about lying: "I feel like it's just the pressure to do it because you're just around so many people who claim that they've had sex, you don't want to be the odd man out. There are people who lie about it, just so they can be 'in.' I don't think it's about being ready for when you find the person you love, because when you find them, it's not going to matter whether you know what you're doing or not, they're going to love you regardless."
  • Guys want to hear from girls. Nearly 8 in 10 guys say their girlfriend influences their decisions about sex, when it comes to birth control and getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases or HIV. The vast majority of guys say they would wear a condom if asked or go with a girl to get birth control if asked. Girls: Start asking! Guys: Don't wait to be asked!
  • The double standard is alive and well. More than half of guys say that having lots of hook-ups makes guys more popular but only one quarter of them says the same thing about girls.
  • Sex doesn't guarantee anything. Among guys who have had sex, 40% say they've slept with a girl when they knew it meant more to her than it did to them/ More than one in four say they've had sex with someone and not called, emailed or texted afterward like they said they would. Three-quarters of guys say that sex wouldn't make them stay in a relationship they didn't want to be in.

To read more results from the survey, pick up the March issue of Seventeen magazine on newsstands now or read That's What He Said: What Guys Think About Sex, Love, Contraception, and Relationships.