FLIRTING 2.0
New survey finds many teens are sending or posting sexually suggestive messages and images
Passing notes in Algebra or getting your BFF to ask a boy if he likes you is so last century. These days, flirting has gone digital and teens are taking advantage of new technologies -- text messaging, cell phone cameras, social networking websites, IM, and more -- to flirt, hook up, and even share naked pictures of themselves.
According to the results of a new survey from The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com, one in five teens ages 13-19 say they have electronically sent, or posted online, nude or semi-nude images of themselves. Crazy, right? Here are some other findings from the survey:
- Lot of teens are sending or posting photos and videos...
22% of teen girls say they have sent or posted sexually explicit images (nude or semi-nude photos or videos) of themselves. But teen girls are not the only ones doing the sharing. 18% of teen boys also admitted to sending or posting these kinds of sexually explicit images of themselves.
- ...but more are sending written sexual messages.
Sending sexually suggestive messages (text messages, emails, IMs) is even more common than sending photos or videos. Nearly four in ten teens say they have sent sexual messages to someone.
- Teens are sending sexual content to boyfriends/girlfriends, potential hook ups, and even strangers.
Nearly seven in ten teens who have sent or posted sexual content (messages or images) say it was for their boyfriend or girlfriend. 30% of teens say they sent it to someone they wanted to date or hook up with. 15% of teens who have sent sexually explicit or suggestive content say they sent it to someone that they only know online.
- Teens know the dangers, but many do it anyway.
Even though most teens (75%) say sending sexually suggestive content "can have serious negative consequences," nearly four in ten have sent or posted sexually suggestive emails or text messages -- and 20% have sent or posted nude or semi-nude images of themselves.
- Teens say sharing is common.
37% of teens say it is common for sexual images to get shared with people other than the intended recipient. In fact, one-third (33%) of teen boys and one-quarter (25%) of teen girls say they have had nude/semi-nude images -- originally meant to be private -- shared with them.
- Teens give many reasons for posting and sending sexual content.
Teen girls who have sent or posted sexually suggestive messages or sexually explicit images provide a number of reasons why. Two-thirds (66%) say they did so to be "fun or flirtatious" and more than half (52%) did so as a "sexy present" for their boyfriend. Four in ten teen girls who have sent sexual content did so "as a joke" but many teen boys (29%) say that girls who send such content are "expected to date or hook up in real life." 44% of both teen girls and teen boys say they sent sexual content in response to such content they received.
- Girls face more pressure to send sexual content.
51% of teen girls say pressure from a guy is a reason girls send sexual messages or images, while only 18% of teen boys said they felt pressure from girls.
- What might seem like harmless fun to some can actually have an effect on what happens in real life.
Nearly one-quarter of teens (22%) said that technology makes them personally more forward and aggressive. More than one-third of teens (38%) say exchanging sexual content makes dating or hooking up with others more likely and nearly one-third of teens (29%) believe those exchanging sexual content are "expected" to date or hook up.
Clearly, there are some serious risks to sharing sexually suggestive or explicit messages and images even if you think they are going to be private. Beyond your parents finding out or your ex-boyfriend sharing your "sexy present" with all of his buddies (or the entire school), sending sexual content can have life-long consequences. Here are five things for you to think about before you press SEND:
- Don't assume anything you send or post is going to remain private.
Your messages and images will get passed around, even if you think they won't: 39% of teens say they have had a sexually suggestive message (originally meant to be private) shown to them and 18% say they have shared such a message with someone other than the person for whom is was originally meant.
- There is no changing your mind in cyberspace -- anything you send or post will never truly go away.
Something that seems fun and flirty and is done on a whim will never really die. Potential employers, college recruiters, teachers, coaches, parents, friends, enemies, strangers and others may all be able to find your past posts, even after you delete them. And itis nearly impossible to control what other people are posting about you. Think about it: Even if you have second thoughtsanddelete a racy photo, there is no telling who has already copied that photo and posted it elsewhere.
Don't give in to the pressure to do something that makes you uncomfortable, even in cyberspace.
Almost half of teens (47%) say "pressure from guys" is a reason girls send and post sexually suggestive messages and images.Nearly one-quarter of all teens (24%) say "pressure from friends" is a reason guys send and post sexually suggestive messages and images.- Consider the recipient's reaction.
Just because a message is meant to be fun doesn't mean the person who gets it will see it that way. Four in ten teen girls who have sent sexually suggestive content did so "as a joke" but many teen boys (29%) say that girls who send such content are "expected to date or hook up in real life." It's easier to be more provocative or outgoing online, but whatever you write, post or send does contribute to the real-life impression you're making.
- Nothing is truly anonymous.
Fifteen percent of teens who send sexually suggestive messages and images, do so to people they only know online. It is important to remember that even if someone only knows you by screen name, online profile, phone number or email address, that they can probably find you if they try hard enough.
Want to learn more? Check out www.thenationalcampaign.org/sextech and www.cosmogirl.com/sexsurvey for more information about the survey, tips for teens and parents, and other related materials.