ABSTINENCE
The only 100% effective way to avoid having a baby is to not have sex -- that is, to practice "abstinence." Abstinence is the most effective method of birth control and many teens choose this option. For some, this means not having sex until they're married. For others, it can mean different things, like waiting until they've found a committed partner and are in a serious long-term relationship.
Lots of people are practicing abstinence these days. Half of high school students have never had sexual intercourse. In fact, the majority of teenagers, even those who started having sex when they were younger, think teens should wait until they're older.
It is also important to note that some teens who have had sex in the past may choose not to have sex again right now. That is, you can always say "no," even if you've said "yes" before.
When it comes to sex, you need to think carefully about its risks, consequences and meaning. Don't just stumble into it, and don't feel pressured into having sex just because others are.
Here is a simple idea: you are definitely not ready to have sex if you can't talk to your partner comfortably about:
- the choice to have sex or not,
- what type of protection and birth control you will use every time, and
- what you will do if pregnancy occurs (or if one of you gets an STD).
FACTS ABOUT ABSTINENCE
- NOT everybody is doing it. Less than half of teens reported having ever had sex as of 2005.
- Teens do not think it is embarrassing to say they are virgins. Almost three-quarters of teens don't think it's embarrassing to admit being a virgin.
- Most teens who have had sex wish they had waited. Almost 70% of teens say that.
- Teens are eager for a strong abstinence message. Ninety-four percent of teens say they want a strong message to abstain until at least after high school.
- Teen guys' approval of premarital sex is declining. Guys are less and less accepting of casual sex - the proportion of adolescent males aged 17-19 who approve of premarital sex when a couple does not plan to marry decreased from 80% in 1988 to 71% in 1995.
- College freshmen are less likely to approve of casual sex. 60% of college freshmen disagree that hooking up with a casual acquaintance is okay.
WHAT ARE TEENS SAYING ABOUT ABSTINENCE?
- I'm not having sex and I wouldn't want it any other way. I don't need sex to make my life complete - it's just fine without it.
-Kelly, Virginia Beach, 17
- I decided not to have sex again until I get married or I'm with a girl I know I'm going to marry. I'm what you call a 'born-again virgin' and I'm fine with that – I don't need the pressure of regret or the worry of maybe getting a girl pregnant.
-Rob, San Francisco, 17
- Call me a traditionalist, but sex is something special. If a guy went around giving a rose to every girl and then to you, you wouldn't think much of it. But, if that guy had never given a rose to anyone before and then gives one to you, you feel special.
-Angela, Houston, 16
What do you think? We want to know - send us an email and tell us your thoughts on waiting.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
The following is a brief list of abstinence websites which will offer you more detailed information and statistics as well as options for getting involved in the abstinence movement. Stay Teen neither works with nor necessarily endorses any of the messages or information on this list.
Something to add? Tell us! Send us an email and tell us your thoughts on sex, love, relationships, and waiting.
This page is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.