Stay Out Loud is our monthly series featuring articles writen by teen, for teens. Got something you want to say? Email your submissions and story ideas to stayteen@thenc.org.
Teen pregnancy is an all too common occurrence these days in America. Did you know that three in ten teen girls become pregnant at least once before the age of 20? Why is this happening? There is certainly plenty of blame to go around, but ultimately it comes down to us, teenagers.
As teenagers, we are in charge of our lives. There is only so much positive influence our parents, teachers, and peers can have on us. We each have a choice to make about whether or not to have sex. Yet there seems to be a stigma surrounding the concept of abstinence and society seems to place a lot more emphasis on contraception.
Is it that we think everyone else is doing it? The facts prove otherwise. Less then 50% of high school students say that they have had sex and of those that have had sex, 60% of them wish they had waited. Abstinence is the only 100% effective way to avoid pregnancy and the emotional consequences that can come with having sex.
But what does it mean when somebody chooses to remain abstinent? Does that mean that they can never have sex? No, abstinence simply means not having sex until is appropriate. But what does 'appropriate' mean? Here's where the lines get a little blurry for most people. Many people feel that it's okay once they have a commitment from their partner, but this is so broad that it may mean different things to different people. For some it might mean a month, others might take it to mean a year. For some it might mean being in love. As I stated, the lines are blurry. I believe that the proper commitment you need is marriage. If your partner is willing to place a ring on your finger and vow to stay with you for the rest of your life, that is the commitment you need.
Just remember that the decision to either have or not have sex is ultimately your choice. If you have chosen to wait, know that you are not alone. Know that you are making this choice for you and your future. You are in charge of your own life and you shouldn't ever let anyone pressure you into having sex. Even if you have said "yes" before, you can always say "no" now. It's never too late to decide that you don't want to have sex. Either way, it's your choice. Don't let the media, your friends, your girlfriend or boyfriend, or anyone but you make that decision.