Stay Out Loud is our monthly series featuring articles writen by teen, for teens. Got something you want to say? Email your submissions and story ideas to stayteen@thenc.org.
With prom right around the corner, Stay Teen and our friends at YourProm.com wanted to know a little bit about the pressure to have sex on prom night and how to deal with it. No matter how you feel about sex--whether you think you are ready or not--it is really important to plan beforehand how you want your prom night to go. In the following article, one teen shares her prom night advice.
So the big night has arrived… PROM NIGHT! You look amazing in your dress and you have the perfect date. Or maybe you just put on your crisp tuxedo jacket and you are ready to pick up that special girl. Everything has fallen into place and you are about to have the time of your life.
Like many others, you are probably thinking about prom night expectations–specifically "after-prom" expectations. Is prom night going to be special because you will always remember dancing the night away with your friends? Or is it going to be memorable because it is the night when you and your date finally have sex?
Prom is supposed to be a night of fun with your friends and you shouldn't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to. While most teens say they feel pressure to have sex, not everyone is doing it. In fact, about half of high schoolers haven’t had sex. And remember, you can always say "no" — even if you've said "yes" before. There are many good reasons to say “no” to sex – protecting your feelings is just one of them.
If you don't want to have any post-prom regrets, the best advice is to not have sex at all. In fact, most teens (60%) who have had sex say they wish they’d waited longer. If you feel any doubt about being alone with your date after prom, make plans to stay with a group. You can't go wrong by enjoying a special evening with all of your closest friends.
If you are thinking about having sex, you need to make sure that you and your date are on the same page and that you have a plan for protection. To make sure this happens, it is important for you and your date to discuss your plans and expectations long before prom night arrives. Talking things over beforehand will help guarantee that you will not be caught up in the moment and do something you are both not ready for.
Sex is serious and has very serious consequences. Not having sex is the only foolproof way to prevent pregnancy or STDs. But if you do plan on having sex, you must use protection every single time. Now's the time of make your prom night plan.
We want to know what you think! Is there increased pressure to have sex on prom night? Do you have a prom night plan for avoiding teen pregnancy and STDs? If your best friend was feeling pressured by their date to have sex after prom, what advice would you give them? Visit YourProm.com and post your thoughts in their discussion board.
The following article tells the true-life story of Lorena, a young woman whose plans for the future were side-lined when she became pregnant at age 18. Though Lorena has big plans for her education and her future, most teen parents aren't so lucky. In reality, less than half of teen mothers ever graduate from high school and fewer than two percent earn a college degree by age 30. We wish Lorena the best of luck in meeting all of her goals for the future.
Meet Lorena, a pretty 21 year-old, that loves to read, draw, and write poetry. She loves to read and teach her two little boys, Daniel and Jairo.
When Lorena was 18, she and her boyfriend found out that she was pregnant. Devastated because she was a recent high school graduate and had applied to go on to college, she felt that she was in a bad situation. Not only did she have to put her plans for the future on hold, but the couple also had to break the news to their parents. “When I first found out I was pregnant, I told myself, "These are the consequences that come with sex, so now I have to move forward,'" said Lorena.
She is one of the few teens that had help from both families and coming from Mexican descent, it was expected that the couple would get married since they had a child on the way. After having Daniel, she was ready to go on to community college but then she got another surprise. She was pregnant yet again, this time it was with Jairo and now she had to care for two babies. "I believe my kids have been a blessing. To tell you the truth, it was not difficult at all. Maybe only when they get sick, but that's about it," she acknowledged. Even though it is tough to have two children, she looks forward to going on to college.
Her parents are very supportive and have given her a home to stay at with her husband and two children. Thus, college is not going to be an exception for Lorena. "There is no turning back, and of that I am aware. There's only one way to go and that is foward. I try my best to be a good mother and - at the same time - keep up with myself. To study, read, write, and practice. All until I can get myself back out there to college." she mentioned. While the odds are against her, she continues to fight for what she believes in and strive for what she wants in life.
Love is a beautiful thing—there is so much excitement, newness, and all kinds of emotions wrapped up in one little word. But what happens when those emotions get the best of us? During those moments when you are with the one you love and the hormones are flying and life seems to stand still. Right about now, people’s ability to make a judgment call is nearly impossible. These decisions made in the heat of the moment often turn into the heartbreak of another moment.
That heartbreak is easily avoidable with one of the most important relationship skills: communication. Before the heat is turned on, it is essential to discuss how both of you feel and where you agree to draw the line. You may have different ideas about what is right or wrong; however, in a real love relationship, your partner will respect your limits and not expect you to compromise your values. When you face pressure knowing exactly what is acceptable for you and the one you love, your relationship can flourish.Love really is a beautiful thing; not “lustful love” but the kind of love where two people show mutual respect, responsibility, and genuine care for one another.
What more information about relationships and dating? Check out our Relationship Reality section and take the Relationships Quiz.