Can guys be victims of dating violence?

 
Can guys be victims of dating violence?
No – guys are stronger than girls
4%
Maybe, but I don’t think it’s common – dating violence against women is a much bigger problem
18%
Yes – dating violence is more than just physical abuse...anyone can be a victim
78%

The answer is absolutely.

Dating violence can take many forms, including:

  • Physical abuse: any intentional use of physical force meant to cause fear or injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking, or using a weapon.
  • Emotional abuse: non-physical behavior such as threats, insults, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, or stalking.
  • Sexual abuse: any action that forces undesired sexual behavior on you by another person. This includes making you do anything you don’t want to do sexually, refusing to have safe sex, aggressively pressuring you to go further than you want to sexually, or making you feel badly about yourself sexually.

While it may seem like women are the only ones who deal with dating violence, male-victim domestic violence is easy to miss—common stereotypes make it incredibly difficult for a man to admit that his partner has abused him in any way. The fact is, women can hit, call names, and behave violently and abusively just as much as men can. 

The Mayo Clinic advises that domestic violence can include a range of things and includes a partner who:

  • Calls you names, insults you, or puts you down,
  • Prevents you from going to work or school,
  • Stops you from seeing family members or friends,
  • Tries to control how you spend money, where you go, or what you wear,
  • Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful,
  • Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs,
  • Threatens you with violence or a weapon,
  • Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes, or otherwise hurts you,
  • Assaults you while you're sleeping  or not paying attention to make up for a difference in strength,
  • Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will, and/ or
  • Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it.

So while 1 in 3 women will experience dating violence in her lifetime, let’s not forget the boys…and whether male or female, victims can start by telling someone about the abuse, whether it's a friend, relative, health care provider, or other close contact. At first, you may find it hard to talk about the abuse. But you'll also likely feel relief and receive much-needed support.

Get more info and advice about dating violence on our National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month page. Then tell us in the comments what you think about dating violence. Have you experienced it? Know anyone who has?

VIEW OTHER POLLS >>

Tags:

WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:

ON MAY 9, 2012 AT 8:20 PM, WESTVIEWDEEP!:D SAID:

Absolutley, but it's true... it isn't as common for a girl to abuse her boyfriend.

ON MAY 9, 2012 AT 12:51 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes because guys may be strong but girls words can be hurtful

ON MAY 2, 2012 AT 11:27 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes

ON MARCH 20, 2012 AT 6:31 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Anybody can be a victim of dating violence, girls can be just as verbal abusive as guys are physically

ON FEBRUARY 24, 2012 AT 11:23 AM, CLOYIEBUG LOVE SAID:

yes any body can but its more likey for women to i know i was by my momma's boyfriend he sexual adused me im lucky i told somebody even though he threatened me. i was only about 5 or 6

ON FEBRUARY 6, 2012 AT 4:08 PM, MACY & ABBY SAID:

Macy- Yes. Believe it or not, us girls are very powerful.

Abby- Ditto

ON DECEMBER 28, 2011 AT 5:44 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes of course they can. its not only women now a days. it doesnt have to be physical it can be verbal even emotional for that matter. It seems to happen more to guys where i live then girls. so i see it every day.

ON DECEMBER 19, 2011 AT 8:51 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Yes ... I kind of abuse my boyfriend and I feel so bad about it after reading all the stuff on this website ... I need to make it up to him ...

ON DECEMBER 18, 2011 AT 10:04 PM, BLUEROSES21 SAID:

excuse me but what diffrence does it make male or female people just need to stop with the abuse all together.i mean any one can be a victim of abuse emotional ,physical,or sexual abuse

ON NOVEMBER 30, 2011 AT 2:59 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

No, they are not.

ON OCTOBER 11, 2011 AT 4:05 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i think yes but not as much as women because guys are stronger but at the samr time every person has feelings.

ON OCTOBER 3, 2011 AT 10:44 AM, VIRGINIA SAID:

i think guys are stupid for hitting girl they can go to jail for that

ON SEPTEMBER 27, 2011 AT 1:00 PM, TIFFY SAID:

Every one connects "abuse" to physical stuff: hitting, punching, slapping, ect, and altthough alot of young girls are in these kinds of relationships they shold realize that they are not alone. Not only are there many other young girls out there stuck in these kinds of relationships, they should also realize that many young guys also are in abusive relationships. Whethere it be in a physically abusive relationship or not. Manipulative girlfriends are also being abusive, even if they dont think so.

ON AUGUST 26, 2011 AT 11:41 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I was in a really abusive relationship
He would pinch me when I forgot to call or text then he would pull my hair if I didn't talk long
then he would call and ask where I was and he said I couldn't go to my little brother-My LITTLE BROTHER's BIRTHDAY PARTY and when I hung up on him he came to my house and got in my car[Where I was just leaving]and he tried to rape me but I got out and made it to his party but I didn't tell anyone and the next day when I saw him at school he said 'I only get like that when you make me mad'
I broke up with him but he came to my house that night my parents weren't home and he threw me out the 3rd story window I landed on my right leg and the bones broke thru the skin.Very,very painful.
Get out when you can the earlier the better and It is never your fault that you're being abused

ON AUGUST 14, 2011 AT 5:52 PM, ALYSSA SAID:

well... my bffl her boyfriend hit her and then she hit him bk a couple of times sooooo maybe

ON JULY 27, 2011 AT 2:14 PM, WISHYWASHY SAID:

Yes, They Can Anyone Can

ON JULY 23, 2011 AT 5:16 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i wantedto have sex at age 12 but i got scared and my boyfriend beat me but i atomatically broke up with him.

okay, this is like me......i`m not the first person to write this, but my boyfrriend of a year n` a half beat me when i told him i couldn`t have sex with him because i was only 12 yr. old...........he got took to court and i got 100,000 dollars because of medical cost and therapy because it really messed me up........he broke my leg, cracked my skull and broke 6 fingers and my left wrist, and when he broke my leg, i mean he broke my WHOLE leg, like right below the waist all the way down to my ankle......it hurt and i was in the hospital for almost a year.........and he only hurt me because his ex-gf had hurt him in the past, physically, so he thought it was `okay`.....yeah right!!!

ON JULY 23, 2011 AT 5:09 PM, K*L SAID:

deffinately! cuz girls can be just as abusive as guys, just as controlling......my best guy friends gf was abusive and controlling and i had to save him......he was mad at me afterwards until i explained to him y i had purposefully planned to catch her in the act of abusing him.....physically......then he uunderstood soooooo...answer is DEFFINATELY!!!!

ON JULY 11, 2011 AT 11:48 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

My sister's ex, before he was with her, he said he was a victim. Soo I think guys can be victims of dating violence!

ON JULY 5, 2011 AT 5:52 PM, SYDNEY SAID:

Yes!, mostly women are victims of dating violence, but men can also be victims. although I'm a girl, I get pretty irritated when women in relationships seem to take over the lives of the men, they dominate their boyfriends and husbands too often and It's a sad sight. My cousin was in a relationship with a lady, they would often fight, not in public, but out of sight, My aunt told me once that her son, my cousin, had come back into the house after leaving with his girlfriend for a few minutes, with scratches on his face. he and the girlfriend broke up and have recently got back together. not sure how long it'll last

ON JULY 5, 2011 AT 1:26 PM, HITA SAID:

i had a guy friend that was a victum of dating violince....he came school with a black eye....i heard there is a youtube video of him getting beat up.........im basicly his body gurd and broke them up for him

ON JULY 2, 2011 AT 7:56 PM, AES SAID:

anyone is can be a possible victim

ON JUNE 30, 2011 AT 7:32 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i got abused before. It was my bf of 3 months, and he wouldn't allow me to go to this party so i snuck out with my bff. His friend then called him and told him i was there and by then i was at home by myself with my bff sleeping over ( my mom had work and she said it was fine). He was calling me asking where i was, and eventually he knocked down my front door. He then came upstairs to my moms room where i was hiding with my bff, and she tried to defend me, but he punched her and knocked her down. He then punched me in my stomach, dragged on my hair and pushed my down the stairs. It was hard, but i eventually had to tell someone. he's going to court, but i hope they deal with him well. I loved him and I'm still traumatized, but don't stay in a relationship if it's abusive tell someone.

ON JUNE 22, 2011 AT 7:54 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I understand some of you think it's weird for guys to be abused but it can happen to anyone and its not fair. People should treat people with the same respect they want and if you are in an abusive relationship its important that you tell someone right away whether its a neighbor, family,friends, friends, a teacher, or anyone. You shouldnt let anyone physically,mentally,or verbally abuse you because they get mad. Bcause you have a voice and it needs to be heard.

ON JUNE 10, 2011 AT 9:42 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I think that dating violence can happen to anyone because tHats how life is just like my best guy friend was a member of dating violence

ON JUNE 8, 2011 AT 12:25 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Yes i do think it is bad for both parts ecutally it can either be the girl provoking the guy to use violence or the girl hitting the guy it isnt only the gut that hits the female but any kind of abuse isnt necessary at all in a relationship

ON JUNE 2, 2011 AT 9:26 PM, HANNAH SAID:

Dont have to be dating... Can be anything..MY dad was molested......When he was a teen...

ON MAY 31, 2011 AT 7:52 AM, KAYLEA SAID:

Home run! Great slugging with that aenwsr!

ON MAY 26, 2011 AT 12:19 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Yes. It isn't always the girl getting hurt. The guy can get hurt too. Some girls have more control in some relationships, and anything is possible.

ON MAY 25, 2011 AT 1:56 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

guys can be abused in relationships because some girl can be abusive to their boyfriends and the guys have to take it and some guys can't do a thing about it and they have to suffer and just have to take it and the guys might have to leave their girlfriends and might have to leave the baby or might have to take the baby with them so yhe babay won't have to grow up abusive.

ON MAY 25, 2011 AT 1:52 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

guys cud be victms ofabusment becuase sometimes the guys r the ones who get pressuerd 2 have sex as a result the girls dont like it and they abuse the guy

ON MAY 17, 2011 AT 10:08 AM, TEH FUZZLE SAID:

yeah girls can beat the crud out of guys and the guy wont fight back because hes protecting her from himself. also us girls can say pretty mean stuff. even if there are more (reported) guy abusing girl cases, the same scary stuff happens vice-versa.

ON MAY 4, 2011 AT 11:33 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

well it all started with jus a pinch for not callin then it was the slap for talking to his friends then next it was the choke in the backseat of his new ride for disrespecting him in the mall (jus smiled at another boy) then after 6 months had passed after he had did those things to me he thought i had to give him sex when he wanted he jus took it (he raped me) SO GET OUT WHILE ITS SMALL

ON APRIL 29, 2011 AT 6:23 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Everyone has problems. It doesnt matter if you feel guilty for leaving your "loved" one because they abused you. Its there fault.

ON APRIL 27, 2011 AT 2:11 PM, EYELID MOVIES SAID:

Girls don't know what they're talking about nowadays and asume All, guys acn be violent.. Hate that damn thng.

ON APRIL 26, 2011 AT 9:54 AM, TONDI (: SAID:

I myslef have never been in a physical abusive relationship. But ive been in a emotional one. And it hurts just like an abusive one. Being called terrible names every morning you wake up and you wonder "What did I do to deserve this? All I do is love him and this is what I get." It is really hard to get out of an abusive relationship becausee you really think you love this person. You think that they will change and the only way that they will change is that if your with them. But they never will. My ex always pleaded with me to stay. He promised he'd change. He'd make up excuses "I'm always really stressed." Or "Work has been killing me lately" But they will try anything to get you too stay. Whats even harder is trying to explain to your parents where all the bruises are coming from. Or why youre always crying. Why you're never around anymore. There are plenty of ways to escape from an abusive relationship. Its called family. Its called friends.And if they're true they wil help you get away from it. No one deserves to be abused mentaly physically or verbally. (Please excuse my grammar and or spelling)

ON APRIL 20, 2011 AT 10:39 PM, NEISHA SAID:

I hate when boys think they can run all over girls/woman all because they are growing up to be men what they dont understand is that if they put there hands on a girl/woman they are is going to be call a woman abuser

ON APRIL 17, 2011 AT 2:36 PM, SHASTA SAID:

Defiantly!!! I've saw it happen before. I know a lot of guys who have been abused, by them not being able to do anything because they were always scared of their girlfriend breaking up with them. Even if it meant just talking to another girl.

ON APRIL 13, 2011 AT 6:47 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Absolutely. A girl in a relationship can be just as controlling as a guy in a relationship or even physical to him. You don't hear as much about it though.

ON APRIL 13, 2011 AT 1:42 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Heck yeah!!! Guys can absolutely be victims of dating violence! My friends sister throws plates at her boyfriend,,, and he just takes it!!
( What a man!)
I mean I would have done broken up with her!

ON APRIL 12, 2011 AT 1:39 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

guys think they rule the relationship

ON APRIL 9, 2011 AT 1:14 PM, THINK ABOUT IT SAID:

Thats what I hate. Most people dont think that guys cant be the one getting hurt because "guys are stronger than girls." No. Thats not the case. Guys can be hurt just like girls can, they can also be the ones that get raped. Most people only think girls are the ones who get hurt and are the only ones who can get raped. And if there are any girls or guys who are on this site and have been raped or abused [mentally or physicality] who haven't told anyone yet, tell someone, tell your best friend, or your parents, or even that shy girl in your Math class. If they say things like, "I'll kill you or myself if you break up with me," or "If you tell anyone your never see your parents ever again." And dont think that these saying are way out there, their not, actually. Tell someone.

ON APRIL 8, 2011 AT 3:27 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

ive been in a abusive relationship and its very hard to get out of it , because you love the person so much and its hard to let qo and they put so much thinqs in your head and you think so neqative tht you just dnt care for yourself anymore so you just qive up & thts not a good thinq . iqot out of it and it was hard buht if you want help ican help you every step of the way .. just reply to thiss ! : ) KEEP YA HEADD UPP

ON APRIL 8, 2011 AT 3:03 PM, MYSTYNIA SAID:

its so horrible that peoplke get hurt while dating..... you know how when the little boy is throwing rocks at the little girl and she goes crying home, her mother tells her that he likes her...... she then goes through life thinking that the reason she is getting hurt is because he loves her....... its really sad!!!!!!!!

ON APRIL 8, 2011 AT 3:00 PM, MYSTYNIA SAID:

i love this site!!!1

ON APRIL 6, 2011 AT 11:10 AM, JANAE SAID:

yes anyone can be abused phisicle and none phisicle

ON APRIL 5, 2011 AT 3:32 PM, MARY SAID:

I think my bf is sexy even if he was a NERD!

ON APRIL 3, 2011 AT 2:37 AM, ME SAID:

My bf and I r in Tae Kwan Do and one of the requrements is sparring[fighting] we normaly have to spar with each other because we're the same hight and about the same weight is that considered abuse?

ON APRIL 3, 2011 AT 4:25 PM, STAY TEEN SAID:

@ ME:

Sparring during Tae Kwon Do practice, which is something you have to do to practice your sport, is not dating abuse.  Dating abuse is when your partner intentionally behaves in a violent way towards you, either physically, mentally, or emotionally.

ON MARCH 29, 2011 AT 2:54 PM, OMG_ITS_OBVIOUS_GIRL SAID:

nobody should be abused. Guys just need to speak up. duh!

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK:

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
Read our comment policy

Take the National Day Quiz!

 
Enter your zip code below to find a health center nearby.
 
 
 

Follow Us
Tweets