Everybody knows what it takes to have a healthy
body. But having a “healthy” relationship? That can mean a lot of different
things to different people. Generally, most teens agree that a healthy
relationship is one that includes love, trust, mutual respect, and honesty.
THE GOOD NEWS ? Most teens (68%) say that their friends are in “healthy”
romantic relationships. In fact, nearly identical proportions of teen boys (68%) and teen girls (69%) agree that most of their friends are in healthy relationships.
THE NO-SO-GOOD NEWS ? About one in five (19%) teens aged 15-17
say that most of their friends are in unhealthy relationships—those
without love, trust, mutual respect, and honesty.
When it comes to relationships, teens say it’s
all about trust—40% of guys and 48% of girls say that trust is the most
important part of a healthy relationship. Teens say that honesty is the
second most important factor in a healthy relationship. Surprisingly,
ten percent of teen guys say compatibility is the most important part
of a healthy relationship; yet only 3% of teen girls agree. Less than 3% of
teens say looks or popularity matters most.
Teens—both guys and girls—say that parents most influence their
decisions about dating and relationships. There is, however, a gender
divide on the topic of parental influence: teen girls (40%) are much
more likely than teen guys (30%) to say that parents most influence their dating relationships.
Our survey of teens indicates that friends are the second biggest
influence in terms of dating and relationships. In focus groups, teens
said they often look to their peers when they feel uncomfortable
talking to adults or if they do not have close adult figures in their lives.
“A serious relationship is one that matters to you: one that’s not
only attraction, but trust and dependability as well.”
– Web Survey Response
“Some teens don’t trust adults, but they do trust other teens.”
– Male, San Antonio focus group
QUICK TIP: Have you ever shared something with someone who
later betrayed your trust? It’s a terrible feeling but it happens all too
frequently. When you get into a new relationship, try not to rush the
trust factor—take your time and get to know your new partner before
confiding your deepest thoughts and feelings. Keep in mind that trust
is usually built through sharing—you have to give a little to get a lot.
FAST FACT : Previous surveys have shown that almost all teens (85%) believe that
sex should only happen in a long-term committed relationship.
QUICK TIP : Remember, just because you may think that “everyone is doing
it,” doesn’t mean they are. Some are, some aren’t, and some are just lying.
| Funding for this project was provided by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant Number: 90-FE-0024. Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families. |